Top Ten Games of My Year! (Numbers 5-1) HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Hey guys! See I promised I would get the second part up in a timely manner! Speaking of which, if you haven't already seen the first part make sure you check it out.

So let's jump right back into the fray here with the top ten games that I played this year, that are sort of this year, but not really because in reality I am excluding the games that I haven't played yet list.

Completely unrelated.

Top Ten Games of My Year! (Numbers 10-6)

Hi all you guys and gals out there! Well it's that time of year again, the time of year in which we take a look back at all of the great achievements and memories from the past twelve months. If you are reading this, it means you made it! Congratulations! 2011 has not been an easy year to get through. Despite all of the trials and tribulations of the year, video games stood out as a personal beacon of light, encouraging me to persevere if only to see what great new experiences were on the horizon. Perhaps I'm being a bit melodramatic, but if you have read any of my other posts, you'll undoubtedly know how passionate I can get.

 So I know that I did a top ten list last year, but I realized that my rules were flawed. I usually get a lot of games for Christmas, and therefore can't always accurately make my decision on the top games of the year until a few months later. So as a result I have devised a new system of judgment. I am limiting the entrants to games that are actually new this year, so no more game boy advance entries. However, I am not going to be including games that have been released since November, because chances are I haven't had a chance to play them just yet. So think of this as a TOP TEN GAMES I'VE PLAYED SINCE THE LAST TIME I MADE THIS LIST! (Or Top Ten Games of the Year *excluding anything released after November) ....heh. Also keep in mind that any of these games could arguably be considered the best game of the year!

HA HA HALLOWEEN (A CREEPY TOP 10 LIST)

Hey everybody, welcome to my spooky Halloween post. In the spirit of this most holy pagan holiday, I think I want to post about the 10 scariest things in the world. This a list of some seriously scary shit. I can't stress that enough. If you're the type of person to collapse in a weeping heap at the thought of something that starts off kind of scary, but gets incredibly scarier as it continues, then this post is not for you.

That being said, let’s get into it, shall we?

Spooky Halloween Post (BOO!)

Hey guys hows it going? Well today is the big day, and if you are reading this later than Halloween then I'm speaking to you from the spooky past! OooOooooOooooo Yeah pretty scary I know. Anywho, as today is the spookiest day of the year I thought I would talk about some spooky stuff. Enter if you dare. OoOoOoooooOooo

Horrifying 

The Binding Of Isaac

Hey guys, sorry it's been so long, but school has been taking it toll. It really has been hard to consistently keep posting, and so I'm sorry for our monthly breaks or absences. Before I get into the meat of my brief post today, I just wanted to bring up the fact that it has been a year since AOVW started! I couldn't be more happy with our readership, or my two cohorts in this ridiculous venture. So here's to many more years of writing ahead!

Trust me this will be explained.

I'm obviously not a Hipster, why do people keep calling me that.

Hello, Reader. My name is Hünder Grownd. My friend The Charmeleon hasn't posted in a while and he asked me if I could do it for him today so I had to find some time in my busy schedule to compensate. Don't you see what time it is. It's like 4 o'clock in the morning. I'm not even tired LOL. I didn't even want to write on this thing. Blogger is SO mainstream. Blogging is mainstream. Who does this shit anyways. (I don't use question marks. They're too mainstream. I liked them better when they were just marks.)

Top Ten Games that NEED to be made! and a proposition for morons.

Hey everyone! Hows life? I hope everyone out there is ok after that mild earthquake we experienced here on the east coast. Personally, I thought it was a poltergeist at the time, and even yelled "LET THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPEL YOU!" at the top of my lungs. So yeah, it was a little silly but it got me thinking about the way people react to new experiences. If you've never experienced something before, obviously your first reaction is probably that of fear or anger, and this leads me into my main opening point for today.

HEY DUMB ASS, DON'T GO SEE RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES IF YOU ARE A MOUTH BREATHING IDIOT!

COMME UN LION

Ever realize what a question mark does? Did you peep it? As you read? You anticipate it in your head? Your voice gets higher? You sound unsure?

Note to self (and by 'self' I also mean you too): Take question marks out of life. Or at least minimize them.

Note to self (this time I'm really talking about me): Practice what you preach.

Note to self: Post more. 

Have a good night, Reader.

Life Update: Please Buy Shadows of the Damned!

Hey everyone! How is everybody doing out there in the big ole scary world? It's been awhile since I've been able to just sit down and collect my thoughts. So lets have a chat shall we?

Horrifying.

Food For Thought

Hey Reader. Hope you're doing swell. I've been working on a great post that I'm sure you'll enjoy but I just can't seem to finish it. Sadly, my inspiration and drive died when I recently lost my grandfather. Don't worry, I'll be back in full force very soon, I just need a little time. But until then I just wanted to leave you with a little food for thought.

This is what goes on in the mind of the Lawmaker, this is what I like to call Food For Thought:

So I've been thinking, why does it only take one match to start a Forrest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire??

and...

Do you think illiterate people get the full affect of alphabet soup??

and...

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean 1 person enjoys it??


and finally...


If an orange is called an orange...why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow??



Ponder over these things....

Taking Classes ONLN

"Taste this, and the boundaries of possibility disappear; the fields of infinite space open to you, you advance free in heart and mind."

That's a quote from this book I'm reading. It's called "The Count of Monte Cristo". That was deep as shit, huh? Fuck yeah. Because that's what I'm all about Reader. Being deep and shit.

Not a fan of reading? Or do you think that book is not for you? Get this. That quote was said by the main character Edmond Dantes while he was disguised as another dude named Sinbad the Sailor. Sinbad was talking about weed while he himself was high as shit on the ganja, he was talking to some dude named Franz who also was disguised as another dude named Alladin (as in the guy from Arabian Nights. Get yo' brain swole.)

I don't smoke marijuana, but after reading that quote I assume it gives people the feeling of floating through space naked while colors dance around you. Awesome.

Infamous 2 (Mario was dreaming the whole time)

I have a lot to say about Infamous 2, and the more I sit here thinking about it the more angry I get. However, I need to preface this entire post with the fact that I like Infamous 2. Infamous 2 is a fun game, it is a good game, and I think the reason I've gotten so worked up over it, was that it had the potential to be a great game. If all you care about is whether or not Infamous 2 is better than Infamous 1, I can simply tell you "Yes...yes it is." For those of you who are more interested in the reasons behind my frustration, brace yourselves, it could get bumpy.

A Very Morbid Addition of AOVW

Hey guys, how is everyone doing out there in the world? What's new in your lives since my last blog? Have you reached some previously unreachable goal? Have you met new people, or did something spontaneous? Or, have you, like myself, simply been pushed along through your experiences without a real care in the world?

Well whatever the case may be, there is something that I know has been at the back of your mind this entire time. Something that you may or may not have even realized is there...

Death.

Mortal Kombat 9 : A love story

So it's been awhile guys, and while I'd love to make excuses as I always do, or perhaps some lame post apocalyptic joke (seriously guys, it was never clever), I would rather just get into the meat of today's topic. MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOP TEN THINGS TO DO WHILE THE PSN IS DOWN!

So as most of you probably know, Sony's Playstation Network has been down for some time now. Sony is claiming that they will have the service up and running soon, BUT WHAT DO WE DO IN THE MEANTIME? Well, it's not as easy question to answer, but I've come up with a top ten list that I hope will help some of you in your time of need.

Oh and for xbox owners, please don't rub it in. This isn't funny, thousands of people have had their personal information stolen as a result of this issue. Plus, your undying allegiance to a faceless corporation doesn't make you look intelligent, or witty, it makes you look like a tool.

So with all that said, sit back and enjoy THE TOP TEN THINGS TO DO WHILE THE PLAYSTATION NETWORK IS DOWN!

Look and Sound Smarter!!

Hey friend, it's me again; contacting you from the eerie nether regions of finals week. It's the one place no one college student wants to be. Ever.

It's crunch time ladies and germs, so you'll excuse me if my post is a little lacking in quantity. It would actually be a smart idea to use this time to work on studying some inorganic bio, which I'm slacking in considerably, but typing a post is a lot more fun.

Speaking of which, I would absolutely love to meet the person who stood up one day at a science convention and said "Hey, let's take biology and split it into two different, completely opposite courses!" I'm not going to be a nurse, but I feel bad for the nursing students who have to learn Inorganic Biology, then next semester throw all of that shit they learned, all of the hours they spent in front of a text book and all the money they spent on Aderrall out of the window to learn about Organic shit. At least that's how I think it works, I could be mistaken.

Anyways, it just doesn't make sense. I wonder if there's a way to study just inorganic classes and get your MD in Paper or Dirt. I could see how that would suck though. Consider this situation:

"Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house!? My grandmother just collapsed!!"
"Yes, I am a doctor!"
"Help me!!"
"Oh...whoops. I'm sorry, I specialize in plastic spoons. Looks like she's going to die though."

Yeah, inorganic doctors are not a smart idea...

Which leads me to my next topic. I want to teach you how to be smart.

Short Presentation on The Progression of Popular Hip-Hop Music.

I now present to you a short presentation on the progression of Popular Hip Hop music over the last 29 years. (Video credit from Youtube.)


1982:

Singularity...oh crap

Hey guys, it's been awhile. Recently I've been doing a lot of work for school, including a speech on the California Video Game Bill (which is ridiculous, and unconstitutional. Expect an immanent blog post on the subject). Anyway, yesterday I performed the speech for my class, and everything went well. Yet something didn't feel right, I was missing something. Then it hit me like a bowling ball to the gut. I had lost my flash drive.

"Oh god now there is so much information about myself, merely floating out there in the ether" At the time I didn't realize how ironic this thought process was. Who cares if someone can see my name, a few ps3 saves (including the playstation home pictures), and a power point I made three years ago? I came to the stunning realization that there is so much personal information floating around in the interwebs, that we are essentially in a state of full personal disclosure constantly. In essence, the internet serves as a globally shared mind, capturing all of our most private, and intimate moments.

DEAR SUMMER,

Summer vacation is almost here folks, the robins are back, the grass is growing and the fragrant odor of sweat and Rita's Water Ice is all around.

If you're thinking "Damn! That was poetic!!" That's because that's what summer does to people.

Poetry flows from summer like poop from a baby.

There are more poems out about the summer then there are white girls at a Lil' Wayne concert.

I don't know how else to stress the point, but I'm going to put the word summer here, because I like explaining things in 3's. Summmmmerrrrrrr.

You get the idea.

But while it's still kind of far away, I'm going to go ahead and set some ground rules for some people who just take the idea of summer and get too carried away.

Jury Duty...Well That Was Fun!!

Hey guy's want to hear a joke?
Woman's Basketball...

Any who, you know what grinds my gears? When someones walking by you and they ask you "How are you doing?" and then just keep on walking. I mean, what's the point of asking? If you ask me how I'm doing I expect you to stand there and find out. How rude!!

Now lets talk about something that we all love...Jury Duty

There's something deeply disturbing about jury duty. And I'm not saying that just because I had to be at City Hall way earlier on a Monday morning than I'm used to functioning. I'll get up at 6am when I want or need to. But it's an absolute OUTRAGE to get a government letter that says I'm required to do my supposedly "civic duty," and if I don't, a warrant may be issued for my arrest.

I don't understand why this isn't a bigger political issue. Just about everybody hates jury duty.

Definitive List of Song Lyrics!!

Hey Reader, before this post I just wanted to give you guys a little update on the whole aovw movement. If you google us now, we will pop up on the first page!! A huge shout out to everybody who has been passing this blog along through links and such, keep up the awesome work and we will keep posting. 

Also, thanks to everybody who has been commenting thus far it's been a huge boost for us on the opposite side of the keyboard! 

If this is your first time on this blog, be sure to check out some of our older posts. I promise we have some very funny/ true stuff happening down there. If you want to save a little time, all you have to do scroll to the bottom of our page and you will find the 3 most popular posts to date. 

Now I want to talk about everybody's favorite past time, music. Here's something that happens to me all the time.

You hear a song over and over again and pretty soon you're singing out loud it like you wrote the damn thing.

It comes on at a party or on the radio and everybody starts singing it at the top of their lungs.

Then, you get to this part and everybody has a different version of how it goes.

After the primary awkwardness, people start arguing and fighting over what the exact lyrics are.

You go to some shady lyric website to settle the debate but it keeps trying to sell you all types of crazy shit.

You start to panic and eventually you cry while the world as you know it melts to nothingness.

GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER.

Well, I decided I was tired of this happening. So I'm here to set the record straight.

This is my definitive, end-all be-all list of song lyrics. I'm gonna place one song here today (courtesy of youtube) and give you what the exact lyrics are and where in the song they appear.

Never again will there be an argument over a lyric. Now everyone will be on the same page!

Take it In!!

Hey guys, I got a doozy coming for you. I feel like I'm a noob at this game we play called life, but I have some things I'd like to share. Of course, as usual, it starts with a story. (Oh, and for those of you who aren't in on the internet lingo, tl;dr means "too long; didn't read". These points pretty much sum up the post for you who are living an on-the-go lifestyle a.k.a. lazy)

So, the other day, I was at my job and something incredibly profound struck me. I was sitting at the register, waiting for the next customer, when I saw a mother and her small child galloping behind her down an aisle. I am a boss and I need not worry about minuscule things like work so I kinda listened in on their conversation for a while. The kid was about 8 or so and tugging at the moms shirt while the mom was on her phone, and the conversation was going something like this:

Kid: "Mom! Mom! Can I go play with Brad today?" (It had just started getting nice out recently).

Mom: "No." (continues talking on the phone)

Kid: "Pleeeeeeaaasseeeee???" (You all know what a whiny little kid sounds like, just imagine that)

Mom: "No. You have homework to do."

Kid: (with a big ass grin on his face): "I did all my homework at school."

Mom: "Don't you have a project due next month? Well you're going to start that today."

Kid had no rebuttal for this. Mom wins. You know how that goes. But just seeing this happen in front of me, it lit a fire somewhere deep within my very being. I got up from behind the register, marched right up to the mother, and slapped her in the face with one of these. I then took off my apron, then walked right out of the store into the sunset...

Self Actualization I Choose YOU!

Hi folks, sorry it's been so long, but I bet you are tired of hearing that and have just come to accept this as "the way things are". Well, that won't stop me from once again apologizing, because in all honesty, I love writing for you guys, and I feel guilty when I get derailed.

So what's new? Well I never thought there would be another day when the biggest and most exciting video game in my life was once again...POKEMON. WHAT? I'm sure your interest has been piqued. So before I go any further, I am going to leave you with a cute picture of pikachu, and hope for the best. CLICK FOR MORE DAMN YOU, IT'S NOT ALL POKEMON RELATED.

I CAN READ YOUR MIND.

Hiya reader. Fancy a good mind f*ck? Well I just picked up the uncanny ability to read your mind. (For you Readers who haven't been using the internet much for the past couple...years..a mind f*ck is when someone does something so incredibly amazing, so unbelievably and inexplicably awesome your mind feels violated and insecure, as if it had been raped. It's a crazy feeling.)

Answer my questions one by one and then click the "click this" button to experience the full effect.

What is:

4+2?

3+3?

5+1?

2+4?

1+5?

3+3?

Say the number "6" quietly out loud for 10 seconds.

QUICK. THINK OF A VEGETABLE.
Got it? Click next.

Black History Month Should Be Canceled

Hey guy's :-). Before I start, I just want to apologize for this awkward moment. It's been a while, actually it's been too long since I last talked to you and it kinda feels like we don't even know each other anymore. But as Normalguy so gracefully explained in his latest post Don't call it comeback it's LIFE UPDATE #2 , life is so time consuming. You can attest to that yourself. It just seems as though there are more and more things to do, but there's less and less time to do it. Regardless, I do want to apologize for my lack of output these past two months.

Now about my title, Black History Month Should Be Canceled. If you were not aware, which really wouldn't shock me, the month of February is Black History Month. It's pretty much a month dedicated to remembering the History of African Americans and their many outstanding and influential accomplishments. This is a noble idea, but quite unnecessary and honestly not well thought out. I feel this way for three reasons:

Don't call it a comeback its LIFE UPDATE #2

Hey guys how is everyone on this glorious day?

Just replace the Rock with Normalguy, and then replace WWF with AOVW

I have to start of this blog with a sincere apology. It's something that we have fought with in the past, but it just keeps finding its way back into our lives, and that is life. You see life is so time consuming. One day I'll want to write a blog, but I will be currently entwined with either studying, friends, or other life commitments. It sucks, and I'm sorry. But I'm back now, to fill your hearts with false promises of updating weekly. :D

So in order to bring you guys up to date I figured I would do another fantastic Life Update, because at this point we all need to be reacquainted. SO HANG ON TO YOUR BOOTSTRAPS, BECAUSE HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

A Wild Ashfaq Appears!!

            One great pinnacle in every man's life is their first fight. Win or lose, I am pretty sure anybody who is reading this post can look back and pretty clearly remember that day. The first time they came face to face with another human being, emotions flaring. The first time words turned to shouts turned to cannibalistic snarls laced with spit-covered profanity. It's a thing of beauty, actually. Whether you were the victor or you got your ass handed to you  let the other person win, the whole idea of being able to release that emotion as blood, sweat and (sometimes..if you're a pansy) tears. This was no different for me. My first fight changed my life completely. (For you readers who have "virgin" eyes, the language in this post is sooo NSFW. If you don't want to read such vulgar language, I suggest a more..tame blog. Like this or this. Pansy.)

             A couple years ago when I was younger and not as awesome as I am today, I used to frequent the public library a lot. Seriously if you want to become awesome, a good tip is to go read about people who were awesome before you, so that you can make your own special blend of awesome. Me and my younger brother would take the 20 minute walk to the nearest library. But on one particular summer day, my shit was about to get all types of fucked.

GWAAARGH!!! Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying And Love the Establishment

Well hey guys and gals. It has been awhile hasn't it? You know, I feel like we haven't talked in forever. Oh yeah, I know I've done my share of blog posts about video games, movies, books, and other forms of entertainment. But when was the last time we sat down and talked about serious business? Far too long for my taste. The fact is I have been having a pretty good existence recently, and haven't found much in the way of obstacles for awhile... until today. Yep I am pissed.

So prepare yourselves for the journey of a lifetime, as today we are talking about MONEY!!

Toast To 2011

Hey guys happy new year! I actually just realized that a year has passed since I posted anything and I can't just leave you like this. Things are going awesome for the AOVW crew and I and I just wanted to post a couple of quick thoughts to give you a taste of whats headed for our Readers in the new year. Hold on to your bonnets Ladies and Gents, were taking a quick trip to the Charmeleon Zone....

WOMEN ARE CRAZY

This one is actually something a lot of people might know already but women, are quite literally, crazy. Yup guys it's proven. Take for example something that happened to me a little while ago. Once upon a time, I went to this high school with a lot of people. About 1600 to be exact. And maybe 22% of those 1600 people were the same race as I was. Meaning I could be confused for someone else, or they could be confused for me. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't impossible. Apparently, while going to this school, I had a beef with a girl I never once spoke to during school. A little while back she finally confronted me on facebook with this issue that had been bothering her all these years.

HAPPY NEW YEAR (plus a top ten list) Pretty neat.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Welcome to the beginning of the new decade. Only one more year to go until the inevitable apocalypse... so theres that. But anyway I hope you guys have had a great holiday, and a fantastic start to your new year, I know I have. In fact, let me give you a brief update. I finished Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter and it was fantastic, I just watched the first episode of the new "season?" of Jersey Shore and it was also fantastic (Yes I like Jersey Shore, it is probably one of the funniest and most engaging shows I have seen in awhile, If you want I could do a separate post in which I defend my controversial opinion), and I finished Assassins Creed: Brotherhood, and it was pretty good.



Speaking of Assassins Creed: Brotherhood, I have been asked to do a in depth review of the game. I'm not so sure I want to do that. (But by all means keep suggesting things, I love the fact that we are getting as much positive and vocal feedback here on aovw) But never fear I am working on a super secret review of another game, and I also will give my thoughts on Assassins Creed: Brotherhood in a paragraph.