DEAR SUMMER,

Summer vacation is almost here folks, the robins are back, the grass is growing and the fragrant odor of sweat and Rita's Water Ice is all around.

If you're thinking "Damn! That was poetic!!" That's because that's what summer does to people.

Poetry flows from summer like poop from a baby.

There are more poems out about the summer then there are white girls at a Lil' Wayne concert.

I don't know how else to stress the point, but I'm going to put the word summer here, because I like explaining things in 3's. Summmmmerrrrrrr.

You get the idea.

But while it's still kind of far away, I'm going to go ahead and set some ground rules for some people who just take the idea of summer and get too carried away.

You know those people. You take one look at these people and go "WTF it needs to be winter again." Yous guys end up messing summer up for the rest of us. And because summer is so poetic, I'll do it in rhyme form!!


Dear Mother of 8 Kids Playing in The Street,

I know you want your kids to enjoy the summer skies,

I also know you want to watch "Day's of Our Lives"

But if you just let them out without knowing where they are,

One of those fuckers gon' get hit by a car.

Dear Dude Who Has Bad B.O,

You just played sports, whatever, that's cool.

But now the bus smells like the ass of a mule.

When you get off, you're surrounded by flies

And everyone at the stop thinks there's a carcass nearby.

 Dear Gnats,

Playing catch in a field, minding my business 

Trying to enjoy all the summer I've missed

and-SDBWAIOPUBDWOPAEBEIBDAO WHAT THE FUCK YO

YOU REALLY HAD TO FLY IN MY MOUTH THOUGH?

Fuckin' gnats.