We humbly present to you the thoughts that go through the minds of three very normal guys with three very different definitions of normal. This is us, at our very worst.
Streets of Rage 2 is
the greatest side scrolling beat-em-up of all time, but hey Double
Dragon right guys? Hell yes Double Dragon!
The original Double
Dragon was arguably the great grand pappy of all modern 2d
beat-em-ups. Just kidding that genre is dead. Just kidding about
kidding guys!Please don't murder me, that was simply a joke. There
have been some great modern beat-em-ups like Scott Pilgrim and Castle
Crashers, but there hasn't really been a good revival of an old
franchise. Sure there was that Turtles in Time remake, but that game
was horrible.
I am, and will
probably always be a big fan of Kingdom Hearts. That being said, I am
staunch Kingdom Hearts apologist. I'm sorry that the games have
turned into a such giant anime wank fest. I'm sorry that the Disney
worlds still tickle my nostalgia trigger in such a way that I feel
compelled to keep playing each new entry in the series. Most of all,
I'm sorry that I still feel a little bit of what can only be
described as “magic” each time I pick up a new title in the
series.
Kingdom Hearts makes me feel like this elderly woman.
The reason I have
so much guilt about playing and enjoying Kingdom Hearts, is that from
an objective standpoint it's clear to see that the series has been
rehashed and milked beyond belief, and that what once was a genuinely
unique idea has now been watered down into pure fan service. The
story doesn't make sense, the game play is repetitive, and the
dialogue would be at home on top of an all beef patty. Yet I love
Kingdom Hearts, because for whatever reason hanging out with my
animated homeboys fills me with such a feeling of relief and comfort
that I look past all of the glaring flaws. I just want to offer some
perspective of where I'm coming from, so that you can read through my
analysis of Square-Enix's latest Kingdom Hearts offering and
interpret my criticism appropriately. When I buy a Kingdom Hearts
game I'm paying for a feeling more than a game.
Awesomenauts is a
game that came out all the way back in May of this year, but I've
avoided talking about until now. It's not that Awesomenauts is a
particularly bad game, it just doesn't really move me one way or the
other, and those are usually the hardest reviews to write.
Growing up I had a friend who would constantly dress up as Batman. Now when I say constantly, I mean this kid wore a batman costume almost every day of the year. We would run up and down our block fighting imaginary bad guys, while I would try to convince myself that being Robin wasn’t that bad. The truth is being Robin sucks. Nobody wants to be Robin when they can be the Dark Knight. Aside from the whole thing with his parents being brutally murdered as a child, there is no reason to not want to be Batman. Batman is a hot commodity right now, and pretending to be the caped crusader is in at the moment. Instead of procuring a cowl and prancing around the streets like a lunatic, you can now take your pretending to a whole new level in Gotham City Imposters.
Hey do you guys like Helicopters? Do you like things in HD? THEN YOU MAY LOVE CHOPLIFTER HD! Yeah I really don’t have much to say this time around. This is just another example of my “ANY NEW GAMES PLAYED IN 2012 MUST BE REVIEWED” rule.
Hey guys! Let's just clear the air, Kid Icarus: Uprising is amazing. Even if you don’t read the rest of the review, just know that you should buy this game. It's arguably the best game on the 3DS It’s a real breath of fresh air to review a game that I don’t just like, but in fact love. At times it may seem as if I’m gushing, and that’s probably because I am. Kid Icarus is one of those rare experiences that comes along and completely blows you out of the water. So without further ado, let’s get into the meat of the review.
Hey guys and gals! Today I want to discuss Rock Of Ages, a game that was actually released in 2011 for the Xbox 360. However it was recently released on Playstation Network, and that qualifies as "new" for me. Oh sorry if you mistook this for a review of the film. I have no intention of ever seeing that film because well.... yeah
Hey what's happening guys and gals? Today I want to take a quick look at
Sega's “Virtua Fighter 5: Final Showdown.” Now I don't claim to
know much about fighting games. Sure I can button mash with the best
of them, but I am not a skilled fighting game player. I don't own a
fighting stick, and I've never counted frames before. I just want to
explain that this review is coming from a layman's standpoint. While
I've had some great memoriesplaying
other iterations of Virtua Fighter, I am by no means a master. So
does this new edition of Virtua Fighter manage to rekindle those old
memories? I guess you'll have to read to find out.
Remember the
abundance of mascot themed 3d platformers that seemed to engulf the
landscape of the Playstation 2? There was Ratchet and Clank, Sly
Cooper, and Naughty Dog's own series “Jak and Daxter.” That's
right, before they were working on Uncharted, Naughty Dog was buys
spinning the tale of a elf boy and his little furry buddy. Well Sony
hasn't forgotten about these cartoony adventures, and has just
released an HD Collection of all three of the original Jak and Daxter
games. Although I do have fond memories of playing the first Jak and
Daxter game, I never actually played the sequels before. Let's take a
look at each game individually to see how this HD collection stacks
up.
Hey guys today I wanted to talk about Mass Effect 3! Yeah scary
right? This game has been a very polarizing subject recently, and has
come under scrutiny from players around the world. It's the cool new
thing to hate Bioware, but the game is not the complete abomination
that some may have you believe. While the game has a lot of serious
flaws, it's still enjoyable for fans of the series. You can compare
Mass Effect 3 to the third Godfather film, it's certainly not the
best in the series, but it's by no means the worst game of the
decade. If you have any attachment to the Mass Effect series then you
probably don't even need to read the rest of my review, just go out
and play it. However, if you are on the fence as to whether or not
this “game” is worth your time, then you may want to stick
around.
Let me just preface this review by saying I am not going to be
addressing the ways in which Bioware is pandering to newcomers. If
you are not importing a character from Mass Effect 2, then there is
little entertainment value for you here. The biggest selling point of
the game is seeing how your individual choices play out over the
course of three titles. This is the third game in a trilogy, if you
have not played either of the first two games then you really have no
business playing Mass Effect 3. There are options to skip gameplay or
conversations if you are simply treating Mass Effect 3 as a self
contained title, but these inclusions are simply a way for Electronic
Arts to sucker in the unwashed masses.
Not
clear on the controversy surrounding Mass Effect 3? Heres a video
Oh god, what have I done? Reviewing every new game that I play in 2012? I have just thrown myself a buttload of work, and for what? Haha I joke guys. Honestly, I'm really enjoying this little experiment of mine, as it has been forcing me to solidify my opinions in through writing. I hope you are enjoying this little test of mine, and I would always love feedback or suggestions of games to play! So are you in for a treat today! Today's review is of the ps3 exclusive Journey. If you haven't heard about it, now is the time to pay attention, as I can't say enough good things this time around!
Hey guys! So it's been a busy time for the players at AOVW recently. A lot has changed in the past month or so, and it's been a bit difficult to consistently post. But I'm sure you guys have heard this sob story before. "WAH WAH IT'S HARD TO RUN A PERSONAL BLOG. Cry me a river you jerk..." Hey don't be so harsh I do...stuff. Well yeah, things are different now.
So anyway, I wanted to try something new! These are the times to try new things after all! Now I know that you all love video games right? Hahaha of course you do. So my plan is to write a review for every game released in 2012 that I manage to play. Already this is becoming a job rather than simply a pass-time. It's sort of a personal challenge so bear with me guys. That being said, not all of the games I play are always good. Without further ado Shank 2.
Hey there guys! Man does it feel good to be back on aovw writing again. Ahh yeah that feels good. MMMMMMMMM YEAH. It's been a hectic month or so in my life, and I haven't really had a good chance to sit down and write up something nice for you beautiful people. Between starting up classes again, and losing my grandfather, it has been really busy. But hey guess what? I'm not going to talk about video games this time! Can I get a collective whoop whoop?
So I'm going to be honest with you guys right now. I have a writing for criticism class right now, and I'm going to recycle a paper I had to write on "The Woman in Black" that new movie starring Harry Potter. I'm telling you this out of guilt, and also to cover my bases in case my teacher stumbles upon this post and believe that I committed a treacherous act of plagiarism. So is it good, or is it bad? WHO KNOWS? YOU HAVE TO CLICK TO FIND OUT!
Hey guys! See I promised I would get the second part up in a timely manner! Speaking of which, if you haven't already seen the first part make sure you check it out.
So let's jump right back into the fray here with the top ten games that I played this year, that are sort of this year, but not really because in reality I am excluding the games that I haven't played yet list.
Hi all you guys and gals out there! Well it's that time of year again, the time of year in which we take a look back at all of the great achievements and memories from the past twelve months. If you are reading this, it means you made it! Congratulations! 2011 has not been an easy year to get through. Despite all of the trials and tribulations of the year, video games stood out as a personal beacon of light, encouraging me to persevere if only to see what great new experiences were on the horizon. Perhaps I'm being a bit melodramatic, but if you have read any of my other posts, you'll undoubtedly know how passionate I can get.
So I know that I did a top ten list last year, but I realized that my rules were flawed. I usually get a lot of games for Christmas, and therefore can't always accurately make my decision on the top games of the year until a few months later. So as a result I have devised a new system of judgment. I am limiting the entrants to games that are actually new this year, so no more game boy advance entries. However, I am not going to be including games that have been released since November, because chances are I haven't had a chance to play them just yet. So think of this as a TOP TEN GAMES I'VE PLAYED SINCE THE LAST TIME I MADE THIS LIST! (Or Top Ten Games of the Year *excluding anything released after November) ....heh. Also keep in mind that any of these games could arguably be considered the best game of the year!
Hey everybody, welcome to my spooky Halloween post. In the spirit of this most holy pagan holiday, I think I want to post about the 10 scariest things in the world. This a list of some seriously scary shit. I can't stress that enough. If you're the type of person to collapse in a weeping heap at the thought of something that starts off kind of scary, but gets incredibly scarier as it continues, then this post is not for you.
Hey guys hows it going? Well today is the big day, and if you are reading this later than Halloween then I'm speaking to you from the spooky past! OooOooooOooooo Yeah pretty scary I know. Anywho, as today is the spookiest day of the year I thought I would talk about some spooky stuff. Enter if you dare. OoOoOoooooOooo
Hey guys, sorry it's been so long, but school has been taking it toll. It really has been hard to consistently keep posting, and so I'm sorry for our monthly breaks or absences. Before I get into the meat of my brief post today, I just wanted to bring up the fact that it has been a year since AOVW started! I couldn't be more happy with our readership, or my two cohorts in this ridiculous venture. So here's to many more years of writing ahead!
Hello, Reader. My name is Hünder Grownd. My friend The Charmeleon hasn't posted in a while and he asked me if I could do it for him today so I had to find some time in my busy schedule to compensate. Don't you see what time it is. It's like 4 o'clock in the morning. I'm not even tired LOL. I didn't even want to write on this thing. Blogger is SO mainstream. Blogging is mainstream. Who does this shit anyways. (I don't use question marks. They're too mainstream. I liked them better when they were just marks.)
Hey everyone! Hows life? I hope everyone out there is ok after that mild earthquake we experienced here on the east coast. Personally, I thought it was a poltergeist at the time, and even yelled "LET THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPEL YOU!" at the top of my lungs. So yeah, it was a little silly but it got me thinking about the way people react to new experiences. If you've never experienced something before, obviously your first reaction is probably that of fear or anger, and this leads me into my main opening point for today.
HEY DUMB ASS, DON'T GO SEE RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES IF YOU ARE A MOUTH BREATHING IDIOT!
