Double Dragon Neon Review

 

Streets of Rage 2 is the greatest side scrolling beat-em-up of all time, but hey Double Dragon right guys? Hell yes Double Dragon! 

The original Double Dragon was arguably the great grand pappy of all modern 2d beat-em-ups. Just kidding that genre is dead. Just kidding about kidding guys!Please don't murder me, that was simply a joke. There have been some great modern beat-em-ups like Scott Pilgrim and Castle Crashers, but there hasn't really been a good revival of an old franchise. Sure there was that Turtles in Time remake, but that game was horrible.

Kingdom Hearts 3D Review. IN MIND BOGGLING 2D

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I am, and will probably always be a big fan of Kingdom Hearts. That being said, I am staunch Kingdom Hearts apologist. I'm sorry that the games have turned into a such giant anime wank fest. I'm sorry that the Disney worlds still tickle my nostalgia trigger in such a way that I feel compelled to keep playing each new entry in the series. Most of all, I'm sorry that I still feel a little bit of what can only be described as “magic” each time I pick up a new title in the series. 

Kingdom Hearts makes me feel like this elderly  woman.

The reason I have so much guilt about playing and enjoying Kingdom Hearts, is that from an objective standpoint it's clear to see that the series has been rehashed and milked beyond belief, and that what once was a genuinely unique idea has now been watered down into pure fan service. The story doesn't make sense, the game play is repetitive, and the dialogue would be at home on top of an all beef patty. Yet I love Kingdom Hearts, because for whatever reason hanging out with my animated homeboys fills me with such a feeling of relief and comfort that I look past all of the glaring flaws. I just want to offer some perspective of where I'm coming from, so that you can read through my analysis of Square-Enix's latest Kingdom Hearts offering and interpret my criticism appropriately. When I buy a Kingdom Hearts game I'm paying for a feeling more than a game.

AWESOMENAUTS REVIEW BABY!

Awesomenauts is a game that came out all the way back in May of this year, but I've avoided talking about until now. It's not that Awesomenauts is a particularly bad game, it just doesn't really move me one way or the other, and those are usually the hardest reviews to write.

GOTHAM CITY IMPOSTERS: And the Joker got away

Growing up I had a friend who would constantly dress up as Batman. Now when I say constantly, I mean this kid wore a batman costume almost every day of the year. We would run up and down our block fighting imaginary bad guys, while I would try to convince myself that being Robin wasn’t that bad. The truth is being Robin sucks. Nobody wants to be Robin when they can be the Dark Knight. Aside from the whole thing with his parents being brutally murdered as a child, there is no reason to not want to be Batman. Batman is a hot commodity right now, and pretending to be the caped crusader is in at the moment. Instead of procuring a cowl and prancing around the streets like a lunatic, you can now take your pretending to a whole new level in Gotham City Imposters. 

 

Choplifter HD Review

 Hey do you guys like Helicopters? Do you like things in HD? THEN YOU MAY LOVE CHOPLIFTER HD! Yeah I really don’t have much to say this time around. This is just another example of my “ANY NEW GAMES PLAYED IN 2012 MUST BE REVIEWED” rule.