Top Ten Games that NEED to be made! and a proposition for morons.

Hey everyone! Hows life? I hope everyone out there is ok after that mild earthquake we experienced here on the east coast. Personally, I thought it was a poltergeist at the time, and even yelled "LET THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPEL YOU!" at the top of my lungs. So yeah, it was a little silly but it got me thinking about the way people react to new experiences. If you've never experienced something before, obviously your first reaction is probably that of fear or anger, and this leads me into my main opening point for today.

HEY DUMB ASS, DON'T GO SEE RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES IF YOU ARE A MOUTH BREATHING IDIOT!

So yeah, I went to see Rise of the Planet of the Apes the other day, and I have to say it was one of the greatest films I've personally seen in theaters in the past few years. I may be a bit biased because the original Planet of the Apes is one of my favorites films of all time, but I really think this is a must see for everyone with even a passing interest in Sci-fi or the Planet of the Apes series.

"IT'S THIS GOOD"

That being said, I have to sadly report that it was one of the most disappointing movie going experiences of my life, and that has nothing to do with the film itself. I will hand it to you, that occasionally the CGI apes looked silly, but after about 20 minutes I accepted that look as the reality of the film and moved on, however throughout the film the audience continuously kept laughing. At first this didn't bother me, because maybe they were laughing at the CGI as I said, but then I began to notice that they were not laughing at the CGI, but rather at the concept. The idea that any species could somehow rival the intelligence of humans was lost on them, and at one point a woman even screamed out, and I kid you not, "CLOTHES ARE FOR HUMANS!"

I was certainly taken aback, and then almost immediately infuriated. This audience was not concerned with the underlying philosophical questions that the Planet of the Apes series has always put forth, but rather they were there to laugh at the idea of "Monkeys doing people stuff". This is a sad reality. Some people are so blissfully ignorant, that it doesn't say anything good about the future of our species. How would we react if we came into contact with beings of higher intelligence? How would that upset the balance of our lives, and frankly the overt and unnecessary confidence that we are the top dogs in the universe.

So basically what I'm trying to say, is if you don't have the mental capacity to comprehend the the concept of the film beyond "HURR DURR MONKEYS R FUNNY", then the irony is not only overwhelming, but really depressing. Well that was a mouthful. DANCE PARTY!!!!!!

So that was kind of angry huh? Well what I had intended to do for this post was a top ten list of video games that need to be made. What does that mean exactly? Well these aren't games that I've just come up with off the top of my head. These are games that I look back on and think, "Man I could totally go for another one of those!" I would have called this list, "Top Ten Sequels that need to be made", but I don't really care if these games are sequels or spin offs or whatever, I just want MOREEEEEEEE! Also I took off Street Fighter vs Mortal Kombat after Ono's recent comments. Oh also, these aren't really in any specific order, because of any of these were announced, my money would automatically be on the table.

10. A new 2d Metroid Game

AWWWWWW YEAAAH

Hell yeah! Let's start this list of right with what I consider to be one of the greatest, and sadly most underused Nintendo franchises. METROID YALL. Now growing up I wasn't a Nintendo kid, I had a Genesis, and than later a Playstation, so my exposure to Nintendo franchise was slim to none. However, within the past year or so, I tried the gameboy advance 2d Metroid games, and almost instantly fell in love. WHAT HAD I BEEN MISSING ALL THESE YEARS!? The exploration is amazing, the flow of your movement, and even the backtracking are all super rewarding and fun. While I tried some of the Metroid Prime games, I really couldn't get into them as much as the 2-d counterparts. Heck, I even contemplated buying a Wii simply to play Super Metroid off the virtual console! (Heres hoping they bring snes games to the 3ds) A new 2d style Metroid game would be fantastic, I can't really think of much else to say than that. Plus I much prefer the metal clad bounty hunter to one of Nintendo's other green tunic clad characters. Cough cough

9. Fire Pro HD

OooOOoooooo Yeahhhhhh! Here is the sleeper on the list. The Fire Pro series is the greatest Wrestling game series that exists right now, and it's a real shame that a lot of people haven't even heard of it. While Fire Pro Returns was on the ps2, and there were two Fire Pro games on the gba, for the most part the series hasn't made its way over to North America (With the exception of the import scene). The game consists of 2d sprites, yet don't let its simple look fool you. The wrestling system here is deep and intuitive. The rosters usually consist of rip off versions of real Wrestlers, who are given fake names in order to avoid lawsuits. However, because of the robust create a wrestler options, and the help of the internet, you can easily rename all of your wrestlers to their correct real life names. Oh and yeah, if a wrestler isn't in the actual game, the create a wrestler is so well thought out and expansive, that you can literally create whoever you want. While the series is currently undergoing some defamation on the 360....

Ughh... what I really want is an updated roster (Fake CM Punk anyone?), online play, and maybe even some Achievements thrown in for good measure. Americans deserve to experience this series in its purest form, and it will be good for everyone. Not only will everday Joe be able to experience the majesty of this game, but perhaps it will rustle a few feathers and actually make Smackdown VS Raw fun again!

8. Tony Hawk

Talk about a series that has been run into the ground.

No more crappy plastic toys, just get back to what made this series so amazing in the first place. Ridiculous combos, over the top settings and tricks, and amazing freaking soundtracks. I am not ashamed to say that Tony Hawk exposed me to a lot of music that I didn't even know existed. Forget about what Skate is doing. Skate has always been about providing a skating sim, Tony hawk is about over the top moves and crazy ass stunts. Just give us another Thug... oh yeah and maybe let us play as Spiderman.

7.  War of the Monsters (2?)

Why yes that is a Giant Stone Monster Holding a Japanese Robot over it's head. What of it?

Why was this game never given a sequel? Why? For those of you who are unfamiliar with War of the Monsters, it was essentially like Super Smash Brothers meets Godzilla. You could pick from a multitude of stereotypical Monsters including the King Kong rip off and the Godzilla rip off, and it was awesome. The arena is an entire city, and with your overwhelming strength and ability to crush mobs of people with one foot step, you would begin to FUCK SHIT UP! This game was amazing, and sported an impressive amount of destruction for a ps2 game. One of my favorite levels even had a Tsunami (which is probably not appropriate right now, was sure as hell fun back then.) Think of the amount of destruction that could be created on say a ps3 or 360! The possibilities would be endless, and so would the amount of fun.


6. Destroy All Humans

Now hold on one second there guys. I know what you may be thinking "Destroy All Humans? But those games sucked!", and for the most part you would be true. The sequels to the original Destroy All Humans did suck. They didn't suck because of any real problems with the core game, but they sucked because they felt lazy. While the first game felt atmospheric, had great moments of comedy, and was overall really fun to play, the sequels did not manage to capture the original magic and instead relied heavily on the gimmick of being in a new time period... The problem was that the studio didn't realize what made the original game so much fun. While blowing up people with highly advanced weapons is cool and all, the real moments in which the game shined, were when Crypto was outsmarting humans rather than blatantly destroying them.  The real comedic elements don't come from just violently killing off the human race, but pulling the strings and watching them run themselves into the ground. Sure there can still be big shoot outs and explosions, but perhaps a bit of self control would be best for the series. It's been long enough, I'm ready to DESTROY ALL HUMANS!

5. Def Jam Fight for .....Whatever Just let me beat up rappers.

Mama said Knock you out... and with that I will now kill myself. But in all seriousness, the Def Jam games were fast paced fighters that were a mix of Fight Club and well.... a serious amount of Fat Joe. But despite that they managed to be ridiculously fun and addictive. The fact that you were beating on  memorable faces to memorable jams was only a plus. This is sadly another game that did not transition well to the new generation of consoles. We don't want to have to mix music while we fight, we just want to fight. I mean cmon who wouldn't want to beat up a virtual Waka Flocka Flame if given the chance?

Not Based At All

4. Ready 2 Rumble!

Lets get READY 2 RUMBLE! Now this is the spot on the list that I was reserving for Street Fighter vs Mortal Kombat, but then a friend of me reminded me of this classic gem. Ready 2 Rumble was an awesome arcade fighter pretending to be a boxing game, and it was great. Sure the characters were goofy, but that was its charm. Who doesn't remember when Michael Buffer turned into a giant monster at the end of the arcade mode? We just don't see anything like that anymore. Sure Facebreakers was a valiant effort, but we need more than that. We need to be able to duck punches and then build up our RUMBLE meter and knock some silly fool out of the ring. AFRO THUNDER BABY. Also the amount of celebrity cameos only made the game that much more special. Even the late Michael Jackson got in on the action. Oh and if I remake or sequel doesn't work for financial reasons, just port Round 2 to psn/xbla PLEASE!!!!

3. Bully

I love Rockstar games. From Grand Theft Auto, to Red Dead Revolver, I honestly can't get enough of that Rockstar vibe. With everyone talking about LA Noir, I'd like to take this time to remind some of you about what I consider one of Rockstars finest accomplishments : Bully. A game where you are anything but, Bully allowed players to take on the role of a teenage boy at a boarding school. What came as a result was one of the most interesting and absorbing experiences I've ever experienced in video games. While the violence was toned down, it did not matter as the environments and characters proved that violence is not the only reason Rockstar games are fun. You could go to class and complete multiple mini games to increase your skills, or play hooky and try to avoid the school Prefects. Imagine Harry Potter, if Harry wasnt such a dweeb, and you learned Kung Fu from a homeless man. Bully was absolutely fantastic, and deserves a sequel.

2. Psychonauts

How about a game where you are a psychic who goes to a summer camp for other psychics, and the only way to get past certain obstacles is by entering peoples minds and fixing their psychological problems? Yeah, that sounds like a good game. Well not only was it "good", it was the game that made me an undying fanboy of Double Fine. I love this game. Not only are the levels clever, and the characters interesting and deep, but its hilarious. Probably one of the funniest games of all time, if not the funniest game of all time, Psychonauts made me a believer. I've made it no secret in the past that I love Double Fine's work, and this is the starting point. While the platforming can be a little problematic at times, the world is just so amazing and fun that I desperately want to go back. It doesn't even have to be a platformer this time around. Double Fine has been experimenting with downloadable games for a few years now. Why not release another game in the Psychonauts universe? How about tower defense, or point and click adventure, or ANYTHING! I love Psychonauts, and for those of you who haven't experienced this majesty, go pick up a copy and join the fanboy club.

Oh Raz, you're a dream

1. Kingdom Hearts 3 (Shocker)

It's no secret I am a huge Kingdom Hearts fan. I have been in love with the series ever since its beginning in 2001. Jesus....its been ten years. Ok granted, this is probably the most likely entry on this list, as the Kingdom Hearts fanbase is alive and well, however that doesn't take away its place as my most wanted game. Now while the story has become convoluted and filled with Animu bullshit, I still find myself enjoying every entry in the series. Now there have been some changes in Disney since the beginning of this series, and I see a lot of potential in the future. First of all get some damn Pixar guys in this game, I mean a toy story level, a finding nemo level, an Incredibles Level? These ideas are enough to make any animation buff's boner rise at just the mention. However there is more. Disney has made a number of acquisitions in the past few years. Muppets anyone? What about a level in which you team up with Kermit, or Gonzo, and go up against Sweetums or Statler and Waldorf! Holy crap. BUT WAIT THERES MORE. How about Marvel....That's right Disney owns Marvel now. What about a level where Sora teams up with the X-men, or has to calm down the Hulk from his incredible rage? GOD YES. Maybe Donald even meets up with Howard the Duck? The possibilities are endless friends.

Oh yeah and thats not to mention all of the tv shows and movies that haven't made an appearance in Kingdom Hearts yet.

Make it happen.

Well thanks for your time guys. I hope you've enjoyed my list, and I hope you survived the earthquake. As always stay safe, and treat each other well! Till next time.