Double Dragon Neon Review

 

Streets of Rage 2 is the greatest side scrolling beat-em-up of all time, but hey Double Dragon right guys? Hell yes Double Dragon! 

The original Double Dragon was arguably the great grand pappy of all modern 2d beat-em-ups. Just kidding that genre is dead. Just kidding about kidding guys!Please don't murder me, that was simply a joke. There have been some great modern beat-em-ups like Scott Pilgrim and Castle Crashers, but there hasn't really been a good revival of an old franchise. Sure there was that Turtles in Time remake, but that game was horrible.

Kingdom Hearts 3D Review. IN MIND BOGGLING 2D

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I am, and will probably always be a big fan of Kingdom Hearts. That being said, I am staunch Kingdom Hearts apologist. I'm sorry that the games have turned into a such giant anime wank fest. I'm sorry that the Disney worlds still tickle my nostalgia trigger in such a way that I feel compelled to keep playing each new entry in the series. Most of all, I'm sorry that I still feel a little bit of what can only be described as “magic” each time I pick up a new title in the series. 

Kingdom Hearts makes me feel like this elderly  woman.

The reason I have so much guilt about playing and enjoying Kingdom Hearts, is that from an objective standpoint it's clear to see that the series has been rehashed and milked beyond belief, and that what once was a genuinely unique idea has now been watered down into pure fan service. The story doesn't make sense, the game play is repetitive, and the dialogue would be at home on top of an all beef patty. Yet I love Kingdom Hearts, because for whatever reason hanging out with my animated homeboys fills me with such a feeling of relief and comfort that I look past all of the glaring flaws. I just want to offer some perspective of where I'm coming from, so that you can read through my analysis of Square-Enix's latest Kingdom Hearts offering and interpret my criticism appropriately. When I buy a Kingdom Hearts game I'm paying for a feeling more than a game.

AWESOMENAUTS REVIEW BABY!

Awesomenauts is a game that came out all the way back in May of this year, but I've avoided talking about until now. It's not that Awesomenauts is a particularly bad game, it just doesn't really move me one way or the other, and those are usually the hardest reviews to write.

GOTHAM CITY IMPOSTERS: And the Joker got away

Growing up I had a friend who would constantly dress up as Batman. Now when I say constantly, I mean this kid wore a batman costume almost every day of the year. We would run up and down our block fighting imaginary bad guys, while I would try to convince myself that being Robin wasn’t that bad. The truth is being Robin sucks. Nobody wants to be Robin when they can be the Dark Knight. Aside from the whole thing with his parents being brutally murdered as a child, there is no reason to not want to be Batman. Batman is a hot commodity right now, and pretending to be the caped crusader is in at the moment. Instead of procuring a cowl and prancing around the streets like a lunatic, you can now take your pretending to a whole new level in Gotham City Imposters. 

 

Choplifter HD Review

 Hey do you guys like Helicopters? Do you like things in HD? THEN YOU MAY LOVE CHOPLIFTER HD! Yeah I really don’t have much to say this time around. This is just another example of my “ANY NEW GAMES PLAYED IN 2012 MUST BE REVIEWED” rule.

Kid Icarus: Uprising Review SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING!

Hey guys! Let's just clear the air, Kid Icarus: Uprising is amazing. Even if you don’t read the rest of the review, just know that you should buy this game. It's arguably the best game on the 3DS It’s a real breath of fresh air to review a game that I don’t just like, but in fact love. At times it may seem as if I’m gushing, and that’s probably because I am. Kid Icarus is one of those rare experiences that comes along and completely blows you out of the water. So without further ado, let’s get into the meat of the review.

Rock of Ages (Not the Movie!)

Hey guys and gals! Today I want to discuss Rock Of Ages, a game that was actually released in 2011 for the Xbox 360. However it was recently released on Playstation Network, and that qualifies as "new" for me. Oh sorry if you mistook this for a review of the film. I have no intention of ever seeing that film because well.... yeah

So anyway, LET'S ROCK!

Virtua Fighter 5: Final Showdown

Just a bunch of alternate costumed Goofs

   Hey what's happening guys and gals? Today I want to take a quick look at Sega's “Virtua Fighter 5: Final Showdown.” Now I don't claim to know much about fighting games. Sure I can button mash with the best of them, but I am not a skilled fighting game player. I don't own a fighting stick, and I've never counted frames before. I just want to explain that this review is coming from a layman's standpoint. While I've had some great memories playing other iterations of Virtua Fighter, I am by no means a master. So does this new edition of Virtua Fighter manage to rekindle those old memories? I guess you'll have to read to find out.

Jak and Daxter Collection

  Remember the abundance of mascot themed 3d platformers that seemed to engulf the landscape of the Playstation 2? There was Ratchet and Clank, Sly Cooper, and Naughty Dog's own series “Jak and Daxter.” That's right, before they were working on Uncharted, Naughty Dog was buys spinning the tale of a elf boy and his little furry buddy. Well Sony hasn't forgotten about these cartoony adventures, and has just released an HD Collection of all three of the original Jak and Daxter games. Although I do have fond memories of playing the first Jak and Daxter game, I never actually played the sequels before. Let's take a look at each game individually to see how this HD collection stacks up. 

Mass Effect 3 Review KABOOM!

 Hey guys today I wanted to talk about Mass Effect 3! Yeah scary right? This game has been a very polarizing subject recently, and has come under scrutiny from players around the world. It's the cool new thing to hate Bioware, but the game is not the complete abomination that some may have you believe. While the game has a lot of serious flaws, it's still enjoyable for fans of the series. You can compare Mass Effect 3 to the third Godfather film, it's certainly not the best in the series, but it's by no means the worst game of the decade. If you have any attachment to the Mass Effect series then you probably don't even need to read the rest of my review, just go out and play it. However, if you are on the fence as to whether or not this “game” is worth your time, then you may want to stick around.

Let me just preface this review by saying I am not going to be addressing the ways in which Bioware is pandering to newcomers. If you are not importing a character from Mass Effect 2, then there is little entertainment value for you here. The biggest selling point of the game is seeing how your individual choices play out over the course of three titles. This is the third game in a trilogy, if you have not played either of the first two games then you really have no business playing Mass Effect 3. There are options to skip gameplay or conversations if you are simply treating Mass Effect 3 as a self contained title, but these inclusions are simply a way for Electronic Arts to sucker in the unwashed masses.

                      Not clear on the controversy surrounding Mass Effect 3? Heres a video

Journey Review: Anyway you want it! HURDUDRURDUDURUR

Oh god, what have I done? Reviewing every new game that I play in 2012? I have just thrown myself a buttload of work, and for what? Haha I joke guys. Honestly, I'm really enjoying this little experiment of mine, as it has been forcing me to solidify my opinions in through writing. I hope you are enjoying this little test of mine, and I would always love feedback or suggestions of games to play! So are you in for a treat today! Today's review is of the ps3 exclusive Journey. If you haven't heard about it, now is the time to pay attention, as I can't say enough good things this time around!

Shank 2 Review... I don't care much for this game.

Hey guys! So it's been a busy time for the players at AOVW recently. A lot has changed in the past month or so, and it's been a bit difficult to consistently post. But I'm sure you guys have heard this sob story before. "WAH WAH IT'S HARD TO RUN A PERSONAL BLOG. Cry me a river you jerk..." Hey don't be so harsh I do...stuff.  Well yeah, things are different now.

So anyway, I wanted to try something new! These are the times to try new things after all! Now I know that you all love video games right? Hahaha of course you do. So my plan is to write a review for every game released in 2012 that I manage to play. Already this is becoming a job rather than simply a pass-time. It's sort of a personal challenge so bear with me guys. That being said, not all of the games I play are always good. Without further ado Shank 2.

The Woman in Whack?

Hey there guys! Man does it feel good to be back on aovw writing again. Ahh yeah that feels good. MMMMMMMMM YEAH. It's been a hectic month or so in my life, and I haven't really had a good chance to sit down and write up something nice for you beautiful people. Between starting up classes again, and losing my grandfather, it has been really busy. But hey guess what? I'm not going to talk about video games this time! Can I get a collective whoop whoop?

So I'm going to be honest with you guys right now. I have a writing for criticism class right now, and I'm going to recycle a paper I had to write on "The Woman in Black" that new movie starring Harry Potter.  I'm telling you this out of guilt, and also to cover my bases in case my teacher stumbles upon this post and believe that I committed a treacherous act of plagiarism.  So is it good, or is it bad? WHO KNOWS? YOU HAVE TO CLICK TO FIND OUT!