One Sentence Stories?? Why Not!?!?

PROLOGUE: Hey Reader I know its been a little while. Lately, things have been looking very up for me but I haven't had much time to post on aovw. This is making me very sad, so I decided to do something about it. In an effort to still post and reach out to my Readers, but keep the posts to a minimum, I'm going to start a new segment titled "One Sentence Stories". Think about the possibilities reader! All the entertainment and excitement of a full blown story in the convenience of a sentence!! No longer will you be tied down to reading paragraphs upon paragraphs of a story to get a couple laughs, these O.S.S's will give you your fix, you laugh junkie! And it's less time consuming for me. Everybody wins. As a matter fact, I'll give you the formula for a one sentence story. That way you can post your own O.S.S right here on aovw for America, Canada and one person in Sweden to see! Anybody can try them!

An O.S.S consists of a couple things. A title and a sentence with a subject and usually an action. Also the endings are usually very much implied, so it forces the Reader to think. The sentence should be seemingly random without the title. But enough 'splainin, lets get to the storytelling!

WOWOWOWOWOOWOWOW UPCOMING STUFF

I hate to make false promises friends, so I will try my hardest to deliver on these two. First I would like to post more. Secondly, I was thinking about starting a new segment in which I review games, films, or anything else you'd care to here about. I'm not sure what I'd like to start with so if you have any suggestions please leave a comment below

Food For Thought...

This is a window into the mind of the Lawmaker. This is what I like to call Food For Thought...

What do they put down for hair color on the driver's license of a bald man?

Why do they call it a T.V. set when only one t.v comes in the box?

If humans evolved from apes and monkeys, why are there still apes and monkeys?

Let us Ponder...

Sorry...Its been awhile.

I have to issue a big apology to all the readers who were clamoring for another famous blog post of mine. (Obviously I kid myself.) However I have been pretty busy with school, and ...well pretty much just school. It has not been an easy struggle however, as I am busy grasping at the breast of straight A's. I WAS SOOOOO CLOSE, and yet once again I have plunged into the pit of despair, as I watched my hopes of a 4.0 gpa drift away slowly. So yeah, it hasn't been fun. However it has brought up a topics of discussion along the lines of the educational system.

Before I begin ranting, I wanted to bring up a quote that I heard in class which essentially described the type of character that I have, or have been developing recently. It was a quote from George Carlin that read "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist". If you don't believe that I am a cynic, just take a look at my previous blog post on voting, looking back on it retrospectively the despair and defeat that I am peddling is that of a broken down, old soul. I feel as though I've been reincarnated numerous times and have finally come to the conclusion that nothing changes. Charming I know. Any who the topic of discussion that I have been avoiding for an entire paragraph now, is grades. Grades blow.

People are awesome!

Not really much to say here, people are awesome. Got the video from youtube. Checkitttt

Food For Thought....

This Is a window into the mind of the Lawmaker. This is what I like to call Food For Thought....


Why do drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?

Why are apartments called apartments if they aren't really apart?

Why do we order hamburgers when they aren't made of ham?

Let us Ponder....


Shout out to my moon men...Im gone

Nervousity.

Hey there Reader, welcome to the new and improved aovw.blogspot.com with a new domain name but chalk-full of all the laughs of the old name! A couple posts back I broke down the whole process of failing an exam. (It's really an awesome post you should go check it out if you haven't already. While you're at it, you might as well just read all the posts on the way down, you will truly benefit.) Anyways, today I wanted to talk about being nervous. Almost everybody has at least once entered a state of mind I like to call nervosity (Nuhr-vos-i-tee). Yeah I made up a word and what?

Ever get the feeling that feels as though three tiny people crawled in through your mouth and are playing soccer with your stomach? Nervousity.

Everything I Needed to Know in Life, I Learned in Kindergarten

As I look back on my life, the places I've been, the things I've learned, the experience I've garnished, I have come to this realization : Everything I Needed to Know in Life, I Learned In Kindergarten. I know, I know. Your probably thinking, "well what about middle school, high school, college???" No! That was all just a waste of time. Don't get too excited now, you see I'm not advocating not going to school. In fact when it comes to deciding how to waste our time, going to school is high up on the list. It's a pretty important and quite necessary waste of time. But let's not get distracted from the important revelation on hand. Everything I Needed to Know in Life, I Learned In Kindergarten. Let me explain:

Breaking News!!!!!! Bert and Ernie Exposed!!

BREAKING NEWS!!!!! Our childhood friends from good ol' Sesame street have been exposed!!!! Yes, the dynamic duo whom we so affectionately refer to as Bert and Ernie have been ousted!! I've been hot on there trail for years, waiting for them to slip up, and slip up they have. Our warm, cuddly, furry friends are not who we think they are. They are in fact........Gangstas!!! *gasp* Yes I said it, G-A-N-G-S-T-A's. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife. Hide yo husbands too. Bert and Ernie are about to take over the world!!! Oh, you dont believe me? Check this out :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21OH0wlkfbc

VOTING YEAH!?

Woooo so today is voting day. AWESOME GUYS GET OUT THERE AND VOTE, CHANGE THE WORLD, WOOOO OBAMA, CHANNNGGGGGEEEEE!!!!!! WE MAKE A DIFFERENCE YEAH, SPAM FACEBOOK WITH YOUR OBNOXIOUS, PRETENTIOUS, VOTING ,GUILT TRIPE WOOOOOO .



So today is voting day. I did not vote folks. However before you jump down my throat with your American flags and Change t-shirts, let me explain why. It's not that I'm against voting, and its not that I'm lazy. I think non voters of my age group, seem to get lumped in with the "slacker crowd". However let me make this abundantly clear, we are not the idiotic fools you believe us to be. In fact I consider myself a conscious objector.

I have to get some basic things out of the way here first. First off, I don't hate voters, in fact I think for the most part its awesome that people feel the need to get involved in their country. It is a noble idea. However something needs to be said to what is probably just a vocal minority. VOTING DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON. There I said it, I am prepared for the possible crucifixion now. But its true, just because you vote does not give you free reign to shove your beliefs down my throat.
Also, what may I ask are you voting for? I'm getting the strong feeling that for a lot of young people, voting is merely the hip thing to do nowadays. "I mean cmon bro Obama is hip, its cool now" Are these kids really informed? I doubt it, especially when it comes to local politicians. See to me voting has become non-smokers. Not that I am promoting smoking as something intellectual or cool, but I onced asked a smoker friend of mine, "Why do you smoke?", to which he replied, "Because I hate non- smokers." At the time this seemed utterly ridiculous to me, but I am starting to get it. Don't you see? What these young voters are doing is not helping. By pushing voting into peoples faces, you come off as pretentious and annoying. The fact is you aren't doing any favors to the cause by showing off your voting skillz.

On Getting Jumped. (THIS STORY MIGHT SAVE YOUR LIFE)

PROLOGUE: In an attempt to prevent this blog from becoming the typical, whiny, bitchy " ZOMG hai my lyf sux and I'ma gunna commit suicide rite now WTF" type of blog, I made an unwritten promise to myself not to include too much of my own personal life on atourveryworst (AOVW). But, every once in a while, a story so epic, so incredibly unbelievable or slightly amusing will show up, in which case I am all but forced to incorporate the story on this blog. So sit tight Reader, we are about to take a journey into The Charmeleon zone..... (This story is a doozy, stick with it. It just might save your life.)

               Alright so this story actually takes place a couple years ago. It's a story I want to get out there so some of you who are reading don't make the same mistakes that I did when I was a young lad. This is a story that has to deal with me almost getting jumped. Getting jumped is actually not as fun as it sounds. Getting jumped is "gangsta" slang for beating the living shit out of somebody, usually for money, usually for kicks (no pun intended). I don't know about you Reader, but I personally do not appreciate getting the shit beat out of me, I do not enjoy getting the anything beat out of me, shit especially. So throughout this story I will give you tell tale warning signs and things NOT to do while in the process of getting jumped.

Food For Thought...

This is a window into the mind of the Lawmaker. This is what I like to call Food For Thought....


Why is there floatation device's on airplanes instead of parachutes??

Why do we get on buses and trains but get in cars??

Let us Ponder...



Im flyer then a butterfly doing the tootsie roll...I'm gone