Black Ops Review

Ok so recently I have been walking the line between talking about games and actually reviewing them. However I have finally mustered up the courage and work ethic to actually take the plunge into reviewing games. I figure if you are going to start, why not start big? Hows about we review arguably the years biggest game, Call of Duty Black Ops. I'm going to separate this review into three parts including the multiplayer, the extra modes (zombies and dead ops), and of course the main course, the single player.Enjoy

Did You Hear??

Hey guys :). Hope every ones weekends are going great. Just wanted to check up on you. Did you hear?? The east coast is supposed to be getting hit by a big Nor'easter. Unfortunately I live on the east coast, and they say its going to 'pack a punch'...ouch. Usually I'm prepared for these big storms, but this year I'm not. No thanks to the "know-it-all" weather forecasters who royally screwed this one up. All week they've been selling a pipe dream : 60% chance we won't see a single flake. Now it's an 100% chance that were getting a blizzard...SMH!! (that means 'shaking my head' for my readers who are not up to date with the latest computer jargon) Thanks a lot. Now, about 3hrs after hearing the news, it's finally starting to dawn on me. I'm not prepared in the slightest to be snowed in. Here's a true story. Last winter I was robbed by a few neighborhood bandits. Of all things they could have possibly stole,

Christmas Memories (TOP TEN LIST)

So it's that time of year again folks, Christmas time! I mean errr the holidays...sorry about that Kwanzaa. Lol Kwanzaa. But anyway December being the last month of the year, is usually dedicated to taking a look back. Today will be no different as I would like to give you a list of the Top Ten Christmas gifts of all time. (Remember this is my personal list, because I can only speak for myself.) So lets delve into my own personal psyche and take a walk down nostalgia avenue, right next to basic brain functions boulevard, and suppressed memory lane. Just to clarify, the scale goes from 10 to 1, 1 being the best, and 10 being.... the 10th best. Oh and I'm obviously not including anything from this year, as it hasn't happened yet.

FUCK FINALS.

Hey guys sorry to be so blatantly vulgar but I really needed to get that out there. It's like something oclock in the AM out here in The Charmeleon zone and I've been up all night studying for finals. We've all been there, so I'm not even gonna complain about that. No, this post is just about random things I've been thinking about while trying to focus on the load of crap I saved to do until the last minute.

• Why is it that as soon as everybody else in the house falls asleep, your hearing seems to increase a thousand fold? You hear a little creak downstairs and you're up and ready to kill something. *hear noise* “…whathafuck..? MOM? IS THAT YOU? MOM? MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM" *waking up from sleep*"what" "JESUS MOM. I ALMOST JUST EFFED YOU UP RIGHT THEN. BE MORE CAREFUL NEXT TIME. I'M DANGEROUS."

• You know it’s time to call it a night when you blink and four hours went by.

Woman Up!!!!!

Here at aovw we don't cure life threatening diseases and fight crime like your everyday real life heroes. We do however provide you with top quality entertainment. Do we deserve an award for this service? YES, we do! But you know what, we don't do it for ourselves, for the accolades and prestige. No, we do it for the guy who instead of being at a party picking up hot chicks, is home sitting in front of his computer typing in random words into the Google search bar and pushing the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. We do it for the girl who is sick and tired of watching Law & Order re-runs on TNT and is just searching for something new, something life changing. We do it for YOU!!! And we thank you, all of you for your continued support. We truly appreciate it. Keep it coming. Now that I have your attention, I wanna talk about a topic that we can all appreciate.

"I am a man, and i am loathed to ask women out on dates. I hate the way women put their hand in your face and say "NO" when you are just trying to be nice. It lowers my confidence, and i don't see why i should be made to feel bad and as though i have done something wrong by asking her out. I think women are very cowardly when it comes to asking men out, and they know how difficult it can be which is why they place this task and all its pressure on the men. I just think men are mentally stronger than women and deserve much more respect than most women show them. When you are working up the courage to ask someone out, sex is the last thing on your mind, but women tend to use this as the only reason the man is interested in her.

If women are equal to men, then let them prove it. " - Mr. Man

By now you know exactly what I'm talking about. Why don't woman ask men out?

Laying Down the Law...Again

Hellooooo world, I'm back!!! My how I've missed you so much Reader. I really want to apologize for not being here for you when you needed me. But I promise I will not let you down again. But let me just explain to you the reason behind my hiatus. I made a serious self evaluation of the material I was providing for you, and I realized that it just wasn't good enough. You deserve more than that. You deserve top of the line, fresh out the oven, quality material and I wasn't giving you that. So I vow to you, Reader, to step my game up and provide you mouth watering, delicious and fulfilling blog post's. Stay tuned for my first post set to drop tomorrow evening. Enjoy the rest of your weekends everyone.

Lawmaker Out....

Life Update

Hey guys and gals,

Hows life treating all of you this holiday season? I hope everything is going well in your lives and that you are somewhere out of cold's icy reach. I myself am currently sitting by a heater in my living room, reading a book of all things! Yeah I rarely read but I got Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter as an early Christmas gift, and I am having trouble putting it down. It's basically a mixture of real facts from Abraham Lincoln's life, with the twist that the whole reason he became president was to kill off the population of American vampires. While I admit that vampires are going through a tough time right now, they are essentially dealing with their own version of blaxploitation, for every twilight and vampire diaries, there is an Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter.

So what else is new? Its been about a week since the last post and I have to deeply apologize. That is completely unacceptable, and I will try to keep it from happening again. At the same time, things have been hectic for the aovw crew, with finals and holidays, not to mention the Lawmaker is consistently busy throughout the year. So rather than do a huge, meaty post, I figured I would just take this time to fill you in on whats new.

Playstation HO-HO-HOME

How is this song so good? Just wanted to get the blood pumping


Hey guys, hows it going? First off I just wanted to thank you all for the responses that I got for my last post, it really means a lot. Like seriously... makes my day. So mad respect to all you who read and/or comment. That being said, if you like what you are reading please feel free to pimp it out to as many people as you'd like. New viewers are always welcome and appreciated :)

But any who what have I been doing recently? Well not much to be fairly honest. I got a pizza today... that was pretty cool I guess. Oh and yeah PLAYSTATION HOME!!! Well maybe that's one too many exclamation points, but I have been playing a fair amount of Home. Actually in all honesty I played it for you guys, you see Home can kind of be a chore sometimes.

Some of you may yet again be thinking "But normalguy417, what on earth is Home?" To which I say Home is the prettiest chat room you will ever take part in, and more. Basically what Home boils down to, is a free game(?) for playstation 3 owners. Its like Sims meets Chat-roulette, with admittedly a lot less penis. In fact no penis, you can't even curse in Home which actually results in a pretty relaxed and comfortable environment with strangers. Yeah, I know right? Oh and did I mention its free?

Just 'Cuz.

      Wazzzuuppp ladies and geeks? Yes, it's me again *applause* oh stop you're too kind. I feel as though it's been a while since I've connected to you, The Reader one on one. Remember those good old times? When we almost got jumped? When we were nervous? How about when our friend Lorenzo got the clap? Remember when you used TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES WHEN WE MADE LOVE? Okay that last one never happened....but anyways I decided I'd sit down and have a good talk with you Reader. I feel like I don't even know who you are anymore.

      As you can see, we at aovw have been some very, very busy bees. Everything on the site looks shiny and I for one am quite impressed. It's incredible what fruits the labor of insomnia can bear. Another thing I was actually quite excited to see was that if you now Google search the phrase "aovw" this site will pop up! On the second page! Underneath some nonsense about viruses! But we're there! And I think it'd be awesome if with the help of our kick-ass Readers we could move to the numba one spot on Google. That'd be kind of cool I'm not even going to lie. We've got Readers in France and Croatia and Pakistan even. Believe me, The Lawmaker, normalguy417 and I will continue to make quality posts as long as you continue to read. And if you really like what we've got to say, comment! Re-post on your blog, facebook, twitter, myspace, whatever! The Reader who manages to bring us the most internet buzz through posting links, e-mailing and texting their friends, updating statuses and reposting gets the greatest prize of all. Carpal tunnel. And our respect.

All Good Things Must Pass

Sorry about that last post. I accidentally posted an unfinished entry, and rather than keep it in its unfinished state I decided the best thing to do was to turn it into some always helpful spam. But yeah we have a new layout and it looks fantastic. Hopefully this new spiffy layout can help us continue to entertain, and inform you... that's a presumption isn't it?

Well anyway today I wanted to keep you updated on my life. Playstation Plus is working out well (and will pay for itself in about a week), this college semester is almost over, and I am happily awaiting Christmas morning, when I will drown in gift wrap and discarded reindeer carcasses. But other than that things have been pretty status quo.

That is until Sunday when I watched the new Simpsons episode entitled "The Fight Before Christmas". I had heard that it was going to be a Christmas episode in the vein of the Treehouse of Horror series. "WOW" I thought, quickly discarding my memories of this years awful Treehouse of Horror. "THIS SHOULD BE FUN" and so I waited. However had I known what lay ahead of me, I would have immediately popped in my Simpsons DVDs and cried in a fetal position on the floor. How could such a popular franchise fall so low? As the title of this blog states "ALL GOOD THINGS MUST PASS"

NEW LAYOUT?

Hey everyone, hows life?
Have you noticed our brand spanking new layout?! Awesome right?

The Guide To Facebook Girls (A weridesepta repost)

Hey people as you can see, AOVW was long due for a make over! Haha don't get used to this, it's all subject to change...unless you like it. Yes, dear Reader, the power to choose which style AOVW will take on is in your hands, and all you have to do is leave one measly comment.

Anyways, I was scrolling through one of my personal favorite blogs, weridesepta today and I came across one of their posts which I thought was way too funny to be lost under the piles of straight awesome they got goin on over there. So I decided I'd repost here. If you like this post check out some of their other stuff! If not, eat shit and die a slow, miserable death. I joke, I joke! This is the guide to getting an e-ho on Facebook. (Oh and btw "cuh" is a term of amity, someone you can relate to. Kinda like "bro" or "ma".)

Part one: The Mutual stranger.

It happens to all of us but it got you by the heart. You were nonchalantly scanning the homepage in search of a familiar face, your eyes slid to the right, and your heart stopped. Inside of the tiny box in the upper corner, was a beautiful face. Underneath it read, "She doesn't know you. Add her anyway". So you did it. Three months, and forty visits to her page later, you've still yet to say anything. The only things that connected you were the seven mutual friends in the middle left. At parties you would see her from afar, you were only there because you had seen that she'd replied as "attending" to certain events. You'd half approach her several times, and maybe give her a meek "hello", and when you'd walk away, head down, she'd whisper to her friends about that weird kid from facebook who she doesn't actually know.
Fear not cuh. There is only one way to deal with mutual strangers, aggression.

Step one: Use mutual friends to your advantage. Before the add, you must do some investigating. Open up your aim box, and talk to that mutual friend, or two. Find out if she is actually an e-ho. If she is not, than do not proceed to step two. Instead, ask that mutual friend to suggest an e-ho. Facebook is not always so reliable with their suggestions.

Step two: Once you have confirmed that The Mutual stranger is an e-ho you must begin getting buzz. Now, be warned getting facebook buzz is not easy. It requires a lot of typing, and a lot of luck. First, write on that mutual friends wall, mention something that you are probably not actually going to do, but sounds cool. Next, add a friend of hers, preferably one who isn't all that attractive. Once the request has been accepted you really only have to do one thing, use the like button to your advantage. The Like button will be your closest friend during this entire guide, so prepare to use your mouse.

One Sentence Story Ending With A Very Brief Round Of Applause.

Lorenzo went home with a prostitute, but not a trojan.

PLAYSTATION PLUS!!!!!!! +tax

Hey guys, whats happening in your worlds today? I hope all is well and I hope that you are not pulling your hair out about the upcoming Yogi Bear movie. (Movie of the Decade) Here on my end things are going swimmingly, I am deciding whether or not to switch my major, studying for tests, and some unkempt girl yelled at me to give her my number this morning.

But you didnt click on this blog post to hear about my personal life, no you clicked because of the awe inspiring title. Yes my friends, I have voluntarily dished out 50 bucks (53 after tax!!) to become a member of the elite Playstation Plus community. Yay? Some of you may be asking "Hey Normalguy417 what is Playstation Plus?" And at the risk of sounding like a commercial Ill just say that it is a program where you pay 50 bucks for a year, and you get free content including, games , avatars, exclusive junk. So here is my grand experiment, to see if I can not only break even, but possibly profit off of this system. So here is the round-up for my first week as normalguy417+. (Yes I am aware that this isnt an original concept and has been done before, but this is more or less for my own enjoyment so deal with it. :) )

One Sentence Stories?? Why Not!?!?

PROLOGUE: Hey Reader I know its been a little while. Lately, things have been looking very up for me but I haven't had much time to post on aovw. This is making me very sad, so I decided to do something about it. In an effort to still post and reach out to my Readers, but keep the posts to a minimum, I'm going to start a new segment titled "One Sentence Stories". Think about the possibilities reader! All the entertainment and excitement of a full blown story in the convenience of a sentence!! No longer will you be tied down to reading paragraphs upon paragraphs of a story to get a couple laughs, these O.S.S's will give you your fix, you laugh junkie! And it's less time consuming for me. Everybody wins. As a matter fact, I'll give you the formula for a one sentence story. That way you can post your own O.S.S right here on aovw for America, Canada and one person in Sweden to see! Anybody can try them!

An O.S.S consists of a couple things. A title and a sentence with a subject and usually an action. Also the endings are usually very much implied, so it forces the Reader to think. The sentence should be seemingly random without the title. But enough 'splainin, lets get to the storytelling!

WOWOWOWOWOOWOWOW UPCOMING STUFF

I hate to make false promises friends, so I will try my hardest to deliver on these two. First I would like to post more. Secondly, I was thinking about starting a new segment in which I review games, films, or anything else you'd care to here about. I'm not sure what I'd like to start with so if you have any suggestions please leave a comment below

Food For Thought...

This is a window into the mind of the Lawmaker. This is what I like to call Food For Thought...

What do they put down for hair color on the driver's license of a bald man?

Why do they call it a T.V. set when only one t.v comes in the box?

If humans evolved from apes and monkeys, why are there still apes and monkeys?

Let us Ponder...

Sorry...Its been awhile.

I have to issue a big apology to all the readers who were clamoring for another famous blog post of mine. (Obviously I kid myself.) However I have been pretty busy with school, and ...well pretty much just school. It has not been an easy struggle however, as I am busy grasping at the breast of straight A's. I WAS SOOOOO CLOSE, and yet once again I have plunged into the pit of despair, as I watched my hopes of a 4.0 gpa drift away slowly. So yeah, it hasn't been fun. However it has brought up a topics of discussion along the lines of the educational system.

Before I begin ranting, I wanted to bring up a quote that I heard in class which essentially described the type of character that I have, or have been developing recently. It was a quote from George Carlin that read "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist". If you don't believe that I am a cynic, just take a look at my previous blog post on voting, looking back on it retrospectively the despair and defeat that I am peddling is that of a broken down, old soul. I feel as though I've been reincarnated numerous times and have finally come to the conclusion that nothing changes. Charming I know. Any who the topic of discussion that I have been avoiding for an entire paragraph now, is grades. Grades blow.

People are awesome!

Not really much to say here, people are awesome. Got the video from youtube. Checkitttt

Food For Thought....

This Is a window into the mind of the Lawmaker. This is what I like to call Food For Thought....


Why do drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?

Why are apartments called apartments if they aren't really apart?

Why do we order hamburgers when they aren't made of ham?

Let us Ponder....


Shout out to my moon men...Im gone

Nervousity.

Hey there Reader, welcome to the new and improved aovw.blogspot.com with a new domain name but chalk-full of all the laughs of the old name! A couple posts back I broke down the whole process of failing an exam. (It's really an awesome post you should go check it out if you haven't already. While you're at it, you might as well just read all the posts on the way down, you will truly benefit.) Anyways, today I wanted to talk about being nervous. Almost everybody has at least once entered a state of mind I like to call nervosity (Nuhr-vos-i-tee). Yeah I made up a word and what?

Ever get the feeling that feels as though three tiny people crawled in through your mouth and are playing soccer with your stomach? Nervousity.

Everything I Needed to Know in Life, I Learned in Kindergarten

As I look back on my life, the places I've been, the things I've learned, the experience I've garnished, I have come to this realization : Everything I Needed to Know in Life, I Learned In Kindergarten. I know, I know. Your probably thinking, "well what about middle school, high school, college???" No! That was all just a waste of time. Don't get too excited now, you see I'm not advocating not going to school. In fact when it comes to deciding how to waste our time, going to school is high up on the list. It's a pretty important and quite necessary waste of time. But let's not get distracted from the important revelation on hand. Everything I Needed to Know in Life, I Learned In Kindergarten. Let me explain:

Breaking News!!!!!! Bert and Ernie Exposed!!

BREAKING NEWS!!!!! Our childhood friends from good ol' Sesame street have been exposed!!!! Yes, the dynamic duo whom we so affectionately refer to as Bert and Ernie have been ousted!! I've been hot on there trail for years, waiting for them to slip up, and slip up they have. Our warm, cuddly, furry friends are not who we think they are. They are in fact........Gangstas!!! *gasp* Yes I said it, G-A-N-G-S-T-A's. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife. Hide yo husbands too. Bert and Ernie are about to take over the world!!! Oh, you dont believe me? Check this out :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21OH0wlkfbc

VOTING YEAH!?

Woooo so today is voting day. AWESOME GUYS GET OUT THERE AND VOTE, CHANGE THE WORLD, WOOOO OBAMA, CHANNNGGGGGEEEEE!!!!!! WE MAKE A DIFFERENCE YEAH, SPAM FACEBOOK WITH YOUR OBNOXIOUS, PRETENTIOUS, VOTING ,GUILT TRIPE WOOOOOO .



So today is voting day. I did not vote folks. However before you jump down my throat with your American flags and Change t-shirts, let me explain why. It's not that I'm against voting, and its not that I'm lazy. I think non voters of my age group, seem to get lumped in with the "slacker crowd". However let me make this abundantly clear, we are not the idiotic fools you believe us to be. In fact I consider myself a conscious objector.

I have to get some basic things out of the way here first. First off, I don't hate voters, in fact I think for the most part its awesome that people feel the need to get involved in their country. It is a noble idea. However something needs to be said to what is probably just a vocal minority. VOTING DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON. There I said it, I am prepared for the possible crucifixion now. But its true, just because you vote does not give you free reign to shove your beliefs down my throat.
Also, what may I ask are you voting for? I'm getting the strong feeling that for a lot of young people, voting is merely the hip thing to do nowadays. "I mean cmon bro Obama is hip, its cool now" Are these kids really informed? I doubt it, especially when it comes to local politicians. See to me voting has become non-smokers. Not that I am promoting smoking as something intellectual or cool, but I onced asked a smoker friend of mine, "Why do you smoke?", to which he replied, "Because I hate non- smokers." At the time this seemed utterly ridiculous to me, but I am starting to get it. Don't you see? What these young voters are doing is not helping. By pushing voting into peoples faces, you come off as pretentious and annoying. The fact is you aren't doing any favors to the cause by showing off your voting skillz.

On Getting Jumped. (THIS STORY MIGHT SAVE YOUR LIFE)

PROLOGUE: In an attempt to prevent this blog from becoming the typical, whiny, bitchy " ZOMG hai my lyf sux and I'ma gunna commit suicide rite now WTF" type of blog, I made an unwritten promise to myself not to include too much of my own personal life on atourveryworst (AOVW). But, every once in a while, a story so epic, so incredibly unbelievable or slightly amusing will show up, in which case I am all but forced to incorporate the story on this blog. So sit tight Reader, we are about to take a journey into The Charmeleon zone..... (This story is a doozy, stick with it. It just might save your life.)

               Alright so this story actually takes place a couple years ago. It's a story I want to get out there so some of you who are reading don't make the same mistakes that I did when I was a young lad. This is a story that has to deal with me almost getting jumped. Getting jumped is actually not as fun as it sounds. Getting jumped is "gangsta" slang for beating the living shit out of somebody, usually for money, usually for kicks (no pun intended). I don't know about you Reader, but I personally do not appreciate getting the shit beat out of me, I do not enjoy getting the anything beat out of me, shit especially. So throughout this story I will give you tell tale warning signs and things NOT to do while in the process of getting jumped.

Food For Thought...

This is a window into the mind of the Lawmaker. This is what I like to call Food For Thought....


Why is there floatation device's on airplanes instead of parachutes??

Why do we get on buses and trains but get in cars??

Let us Ponder...



Im flyer then a butterfly doing the tootsie roll...I'm gone

AHHHH REAL ZOMBIES!!!

Ok so here I am once again folks, appeasing the my blogging god with a post that can only be measured in lamb's blood. So whats new world? Much? Thats good. As for me I've been playing the new Red Dead Redemption dlc "Undead Nightmare". Let me first off say that if you are a fan of zombie fiction, or Red Dead Redemption, then you pretty much owe it to yourself to pick this bad boy up. Its only 10 bucks but there's so much content, my head could explode over it. But anywho, not to sound like an advertisement, but it really got me thinking about things. Zombie-ish things.

Guys I hate to break it to you, but zombies are really getting out of control. And no, I did not originally mean for that to be a pun on the nature of zombies. What I mean is that they are over saturating media. A few years ago a new zombie movie, or zombie game was met with glee because it was a rarity and it was such a cool idea. However the problem today is that ITS FREAKING EVERYWHERE!. Now what used to be a cool idea and something that I enjoyed, is being continuously raped. (Not unlike the current vampire situation) Thats not to say that the content is bad. I mean there havent been many bad zombie experiences, its just getting old. REALLY REALLY OLD. Even when playing the Red Dead dlc, I found myself feeling a tad bit exhausted, not with the gameplay, but with the idea. We need a break from zombies. Why not bring back some other form of monster, or god forbid someone creates something new. The fact is we love to see the world end, and that is why we love zombies, but maybe just maybe there can be a new threat. Say what you will about the Happening, but the concept was at least new and entertaining.

The World Is Coming To An End...

Hello world, this is the Lawmaker back at you again. Yes, I'm now certain that I'm the Lawmaker *roaring round of applause*. But do you know what else I'm certain of? The world as we know it, is coming to an end. Oh, don't be scared. Don't be shocked or surprised. We saw this coming but we did nothing to stop it. Let me tell you what happened last night. As I was sitting down, creating the cure for cancer, my little sister approached me. She handed me a paper and asked "can you help me with my homework Lawmaker?". As I began reading the instructions for the assignment, my jaw dropped. Why you ask? Calm down and I'll tell you why. The instructions said "write a detailed summary on....". I couldn't believe my eyes. I'm not sure if you got the memo because I sure didn't. Since when did Summaries become Detailed???? I mean doesn't that defeat the purpose??? Normally something like this would never catch my attention, if it weren't for what I'd thought was a harmless conversation I'd overheard earlier that day. As I was rolling down the baby aisle at shop rite, this young lady said something quite startling. She had just ran into an old friend of hers. After they embraced the friend asked her, "girl what you doing in the baby isle?". I suggest you have a seat right now if your not sitting because her answer is gonna knock your socks off. This is what she said "Well girl I'm just a little pregnant..." WHAT?????? No that's not a mistake, that's exactly what she said. Last time I checked either your pregnant, or your not pregnant. There is no "a little pregnant" or half pregnant, it's all or nothing. You see people, we have lost the essence behind words. We flagrantly say things, but we don't realize with every ridiculous statement we make, we're driving ourselves closer and closer to the edge. Words are the foundation for every civilization. Please let's go back to the way it used to be. Let's put an end to the foolishness. Lets stop drinking "Iced Coffee's" and eating "cold hot dogs", let's stop making "educated guesses" or "curved lines". Lets stop wearing "dress pants" chose one, the dress or the pants. Please, lets stop this world from coming to an end......



All my kicks fly, like Lu-Kang...I'm gone

A Vow for AOVW

AOVW. Even though we just met, I already love you. We are going to have some fun times together. I've already been in several situations where I immediately thought "Dude I soooo have to blog this" but I don't because that would be a little excessive. In any case, I promise to give you whatever is on my mind, no matter how childish, crude, vulgar, or boring it could possibly be. Feel free to post questions. normalguy417, The Lawmaker and I vow to answer questions to the best of our abilities but we also reserve the right to be as jerk-offish, asshole-ish and non-sensible as we want. Hey, nobody comes into the blogging business to make friends. It's cutthroat out here, just think of us as the best advice you've got out on the Internet. We're that friend who lets you borrow a dollar, then sprays mace in your face.

Post One (EPIC)

Well where to start off? I am the third contributor to this blog, and possibly the least ecstatic. Dont get me wrong, Im happy to be here, but the initial idea of a group blog seemed like a lot of pressure. Maybe I'm over thinking here, but that's what I do so get used to it. I'm really not sure what to talk about in this first blog post, which I so creatively named "Post One". Maybe I should talk about my distinct hatred for internet language. When joining this blog I was prompted to come up with a screen name. I hate screen names, they always come off annoying to me. For example, I would rather someone just use their name then called themselves xBluntsmokingnarutofan69x. Maybe I am over exaggerating, but stuff like that is on par with the over excess of the term epic. Stop saying epic. Also stop saying win, fail, ftw, and for the love of god stop making Chuck Norris jokes.

- The Pretentious Douche (Please dont hate me:( )

Failing.

What I hate most about failing an exam is not the actual conformation of your failure, but the entire process of failing itself. There are three different stages of failing an exam. Denial, Ignorance and Acceptance. The night before the exam, one might find themselves thinking "there is no possible way im failing this exam I just failed my last one" or "I am so going to pass this test. Failing fails to exist. Ive never even heard of the word failing. Its like a foreign language." A couple of seconds later, when you finally open the book for the first time in two weeks, you realize things are not going to be as easy as you once thought. Thoughts like "holy shit I hope she decides not to give that test tomorrow..." or "wtf?? He never taught this in class!" or even "Maybe halfway through my exam the world will end, so I don't even have to study this." This, my friends, is ignorance. Thoughts like this will haunt you the whole entire night, causing you to skip over things. When you finally get the actual test, thats when you realize the whole "testing" and "college" thing really isnt for you. You start tracing patterns out on the scantron sheet. You look at it and think "whoaaaa...thats too many C's in one row...better throw some D's on that bitch". Somewhere between question 1 and 100, you realize you didn't know what you think you did. And the world isn't going to end. So you suck it up, hand in the test and walk out of the room with your head held up high. And if someone asks, you proudly say "the test? Oh, I bombed it" with a big smile.

Laying Down The Law

I am the Law...or maybe not. Im not sure yet, but by the end of the day I will be sure. So for now, I am the Law. Stay tuned for more insightful posts


One take timmy. I deserve an oscar, grammy and an emmy...Im gone