Black Ops Review

Ok so recently I have been walking the line between talking about games and actually reviewing them. However I have finally mustered up the courage and work ethic to actually take the plunge into reviewing games. I figure if you are going to start, why not start big? Hows about we review arguably the years biggest game, Call of Duty Black Ops. I'm going to separate this review into three parts including the multiplayer, the extra modes (zombies and dead ops), and of course the main course, the single player.Enjoy

Did You Hear??

Hey guys :). Hope every ones weekends are going great. Just wanted to check up on you. Did you hear?? The east coast is supposed to be getting hit by a big Nor'easter. Unfortunately I live on the east coast, and they say its going to 'pack a punch'...ouch. Usually I'm prepared for these big storms, but this year I'm not. No thanks to the "know-it-all" weather forecasters who royally screwed this one up. All week they've been selling a pipe dream : 60% chance we won't see a single flake. Now it's an 100% chance that were getting a blizzard...SMH!! (that means 'shaking my head' for my readers who are not up to date with the latest computer jargon) Thanks a lot. Now, about 3hrs after hearing the news, it's finally starting to dawn on me. I'm not prepared in the slightest to be snowed in. Here's a true story. Last winter I was robbed by a few neighborhood bandits. Of all things they could have possibly stole,

Christmas Memories (TOP TEN LIST)

So it's that time of year again folks, Christmas time! I mean errr the holidays...sorry about that Kwanzaa. Lol Kwanzaa. But anyway December being the last month of the year, is usually dedicated to taking a look back. Today will be no different as I would like to give you a list of the Top Ten Christmas gifts of all time. (Remember this is my personal list, because I can only speak for myself.) So lets delve into my own personal psyche and take a walk down nostalgia avenue, right next to basic brain functions boulevard, and suppressed memory lane. Just to clarify, the scale goes from 10 to 1, 1 being the best, and 10 being.... the 10th best. Oh and I'm obviously not including anything from this year, as it hasn't happened yet.

FUCK FINALS.

Hey guys sorry to be so blatantly vulgar but I really needed to get that out there. It's like something oclock in the AM out here in The Charmeleon zone and I've been up all night studying for finals. We've all been there, so I'm not even gonna complain about that. No, this post is just about random things I've been thinking about while trying to focus on the load of crap I saved to do until the last minute.

• Why is it that as soon as everybody else in the house falls asleep, your hearing seems to increase a thousand fold? You hear a little creak downstairs and you're up and ready to kill something. *hear noise* “…whathafuck..? MOM? IS THAT YOU? MOM? MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM" *waking up from sleep*"what" "JESUS MOM. I ALMOST JUST EFFED YOU UP RIGHT THEN. BE MORE CAREFUL NEXT TIME. I'M DANGEROUS."

• You know it’s time to call it a night when you blink and four hours went by.

Woman Up!!!!!

Here at aovw we don't cure life threatening diseases and fight crime like your everyday real life heroes. We do however provide you with top quality entertainment. Do we deserve an award for this service? YES, we do! But you know what, we don't do it for ourselves, for the accolades and prestige. No, we do it for the guy who instead of being at a party picking up hot chicks, is home sitting in front of his computer typing in random words into the Google search bar and pushing the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. We do it for the girl who is sick and tired of watching Law & Order re-runs on TNT and is just searching for something new, something life changing. We do it for YOU!!! And we thank you, all of you for your continued support. We truly appreciate it. Keep it coming. Now that I have your attention, I wanna talk about a topic that we can all appreciate.

"I am a man, and i am loathed to ask women out on dates. I hate the way women put their hand in your face and say "NO" when you are just trying to be nice. It lowers my confidence, and i don't see why i should be made to feel bad and as though i have done something wrong by asking her out. I think women are very cowardly when it comes to asking men out, and they know how difficult it can be which is why they place this task and all its pressure on the men. I just think men are mentally stronger than women and deserve much more respect than most women show them. When you are working up the courage to ask someone out, sex is the last thing on your mind, but women tend to use this as the only reason the man is interested in her.

If women are equal to men, then let them prove it. " - Mr. Man

By now you know exactly what I'm talking about. Why don't woman ask men out?

Laying Down the Law...Again

Hellooooo world, I'm back!!! My how I've missed you so much Reader. I really want to apologize for not being here for you when you needed me. But I promise I will not let you down again. But let me just explain to you the reason behind my hiatus. I made a serious self evaluation of the material I was providing for you, and I realized that it just wasn't good enough. You deserve more than that. You deserve top of the line, fresh out the oven, quality material and I wasn't giving you that. So I vow to you, Reader, to step my game up and provide you mouth watering, delicious and fulfilling blog post's. Stay tuned for my first post set to drop tomorrow evening. Enjoy the rest of your weekends everyone.

Lawmaker Out....

Life Update

Hey guys and gals,

Hows life treating all of you this holiday season? I hope everything is going well in your lives and that you are somewhere out of cold's icy reach. I myself am currently sitting by a heater in my living room, reading a book of all things! Yeah I rarely read but I got Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter as an early Christmas gift, and I am having trouble putting it down. It's basically a mixture of real facts from Abraham Lincoln's life, with the twist that the whole reason he became president was to kill off the population of American vampires. While I admit that vampires are going through a tough time right now, they are essentially dealing with their own version of blaxploitation, for every twilight and vampire diaries, there is an Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter.

So what else is new? Its been about a week since the last post and I have to deeply apologize. That is completely unacceptable, and I will try to keep it from happening again. At the same time, things have been hectic for the aovw crew, with finals and holidays, not to mention the Lawmaker is consistently busy throughout the year. So rather than do a huge, meaty post, I figured I would just take this time to fill you in on whats new.

Playstation HO-HO-HOME

How is this song so good? Just wanted to get the blood pumping


Hey guys, hows it going? First off I just wanted to thank you all for the responses that I got for my last post, it really means a lot. Like seriously... makes my day. So mad respect to all you who read and/or comment. That being said, if you like what you are reading please feel free to pimp it out to as many people as you'd like. New viewers are always welcome and appreciated :)

But any who what have I been doing recently? Well not much to be fairly honest. I got a pizza today... that was pretty cool I guess. Oh and yeah PLAYSTATION HOME!!! Well maybe that's one too many exclamation points, but I have been playing a fair amount of Home. Actually in all honesty I played it for you guys, you see Home can kind of be a chore sometimes.

Some of you may yet again be thinking "But normalguy417, what on earth is Home?" To which I say Home is the prettiest chat room you will ever take part in, and more. Basically what Home boils down to, is a free game(?) for playstation 3 owners. Its like Sims meets Chat-roulette, with admittedly a lot less penis. In fact no penis, you can't even curse in Home which actually results in a pretty relaxed and comfortable environment with strangers. Yeah, I know right? Oh and did I mention its free?

Just 'Cuz.

      Wazzzuuppp ladies and geeks? Yes, it's me again *applause* oh stop you're too kind. I feel as though it's been a while since I've connected to you, The Reader one on one. Remember those good old times? When we almost got jumped? When we were nervous? How about when our friend Lorenzo got the clap? Remember when you used TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES WHEN WE MADE LOVE? Okay that last one never happened....but anyways I decided I'd sit down and have a good talk with you Reader. I feel like I don't even know who you are anymore.

      As you can see, we at aovw have been some very, very busy bees. Everything on the site looks shiny and I for one am quite impressed. It's incredible what fruits the labor of insomnia can bear. Another thing I was actually quite excited to see was that if you now Google search the phrase "aovw" this site will pop up! On the second page! Underneath some nonsense about viruses! But we're there! And I think it'd be awesome if with the help of our kick-ass Readers we could move to the numba one spot on Google. That'd be kind of cool I'm not even going to lie. We've got Readers in France and Croatia and Pakistan even. Believe me, The Lawmaker, normalguy417 and I will continue to make quality posts as long as you continue to read. And if you really like what we've got to say, comment! Re-post on your blog, facebook, twitter, myspace, whatever! The Reader who manages to bring us the most internet buzz through posting links, e-mailing and texting their friends, updating statuses and reposting gets the greatest prize of all. Carpal tunnel. And our respect.

All Good Things Must Pass

Sorry about that last post. I accidentally posted an unfinished entry, and rather than keep it in its unfinished state I decided the best thing to do was to turn it into some always helpful spam. But yeah we have a new layout and it looks fantastic. Hopefully this new spiffy layout can help us continue to entertain, and inform you... that's a presumption isn't it?

Well anyway today I wanted to keep you updated on my life. Playstation Plus is working out well (and will pay for itself in about a week), this college semester is almost over, and I am happily awaiting Christmas morning, when I will drown in gift wrap and discarded reindeer carcasses. But other than that things have been pretty status quo.

That is until Sunday when I watched the new Simpsons episode entitled "The Fight Before Christmas". I had heard that it was going to be a Christmas episode in the vein of the Treehouse of Horror series. "WOW" I thought, quickly discarding my memories of this years awful Treehouse of Horror. "THIS SHOULD BE FUN" and so I waited. However had I known what lay ahead of me, I would have immediately popped in my Simpsons DVDs and cried in a fetal position on the floor. How could such a popular franchise fall so low? As the title of this blog states "ALL GOOD THINGS MUST PASS"

NEW LAYOUT?

Hey everyone, hows life?
Have you noticed our brand spanking new layout?! Awesome right?

The Guide To Facebook Girls (A weridesepta repost)

Hey people as you can see, AOVW was long due for a make over! Haha don't get used to this, it's all subject to change...unless you like it. Yes, dear Reader, the power to choose which style AOVW will take on is in your hands, and all you have to do is leave one measly comment.

Anyways, I was scrolling through one of my personal favorite blogs, weridesepta today and I came across one of their posts which I thought was way too funny to be lost under the piles of straight awesome they got goin on over there. So I decided I'd repost here. If you like this post check out some of their other stuff! If not, eat shit and die a slow, miserable death. I joke, I joke! This is the guide to getting an e-ho on Facebook. (Oh and btw "cuh" is a term of amity, someone you can relate to. Kinda like "bro" or "ma".)

Part one: The Mutual stranger.

It happens to all of us but it got you by the heart. You were nonchalantly scanning the homepage in search of a familiar face, your eyes slid to the right, and your heart stopped. Inside of the tiny box in the upper corner, was a beautiful face. Underneath it read, "She doesn't know you. Add her anyway". So you did it. Three months, and forty visits to her page later, you've still yet to say anything. The only things that connected you were the seven mutual friends in the middle left. At parties you would see her from afar, you were only there because you had seen that she'd replied as "attending" to certain events. You'd half approach her several times, and maybe give her a meek "hello", and when you'd walk away, head down, she'd whisper to her friends about that weird kid from facebook who she doesn't actually know.
Fear not cuh. There is only one way to deal with mutual strangers, aggression.

Step one: Use mutual friends to your advantage. Before the add, you must do some investigating. Open up your aim box, and talk to that mutual friend, or two. Find out if she is actually an e-ho. If she is not, than do not proceed to step two. Instead, ask that mutual friend to suggest an e-ho. Facebook is not always so reliable with their suggestions.

Step two: Once you have confirmed that The Mutual stranger is an e-ho you must begin getting buzz. Now, be warned getting facebook buzz is not easy. It requires a lot of typing, and a lot of luck. First, write on that mutual friends wall, mention something that you are probably not actually going to do, but sounds cool. Next, add a friend of hers, preferably one who isn't all that attractive. Once the request has been accepted you really only have to do one thing, use the like button to your advantage. The Like button will be your closest friend during this entire guide, so prepare to use your mouse.

One Sentence Story Ending With A Very Brief Round Of Applause.

Lorenzo went home with a prostitute, but not a trojan.

PLAYSTATION PLUS!!!!!!! +tax

Hey guys, whats happening in your worlds today? I hope all is well and I hope that you are not pulling your hair out about the upcoming Yogi Bear movie. (Movie of the Decade) Here on my end things are going swimmingly, I am deciding whether or not to switch my major, studying for tests, and some unkempt girl yelled at me to give her my number this morning.

But you didnt click on this blog post to hear about my personal life, no you clicked because of the awe inspiring title. Yes my friends, I have voluntarily dished out 50 bucks (53 after tax!!) to become a member of the elite Playstation Plus community. Yay? Some of you may be asking "Hey Normalguy417 what is Playstation Plus?" And at the risk of sounding like a commercial Ill just say that it is a program where you pay 50 bucks for a year, and you get free content including, games , avatars, exclusive junk. So here is my grand experiment, to see if I can not only break even, but possibly profit off of this system. So here is the round-up for my first week as normalguy417+. (Yes I am aware that this isnt an original concept and has been done before, but this is more or less for my own enjoyment so deal with it. :) )